Deadwood
Amalgamation And Capital

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: D | 9 USERS: A
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Amalgamation And Capital

Can we take a moment of silence to recognize the unsurpassable awesomeness of Joanie's porcelain-white high-heeled boots? Thank you, Lord, for giving me this glimpse of heaven.

While Joanie and Jane are talking out on the street, we hear a horse whinnying loudly. On her way inside, Jane looks over her shoulder and declares, "NG's got a wild horse on his hands."

Across the way, at Hostetler's Livery of Black Actors Still Being Used Simply to Advance Contrived Plots, the NG wrassles with a bucking horse and lays out his plan to castrate the horse and then sell it to the cavalry for $100. Hostetler tells the NG that the moon isn't right for castrating the horse, but the NG says he won't wait on no moon to get his hundred bucks. Then both Hostetler and the NG turn to the camera and say, in unison, "Uh oh! Looks to be a sitchee-ashun brewin'!" I'm sorry but, come on Milch, this is all you got for us? You have two -- TWO -- African-American characters on your show and THIS is what you give them?

Back at the Gem, Johnny sits on the staircase teaching a whore to read using...The Deadwood Pioneer. Al saunters down the steps, reading aloud from the paper. Fox News-style, the article works by misdirection, noting that Bullock has denied any connection with parties in Montana or Wyoming that may be interested in annexing Deadwood. Johnny, cute as a dumb rock, observes that "You knew Cheyenne'd be heard from" as if the newspaper were relating real news. How sweet of him to think so! Al continues to read, incensed that the paper intimates interest from Montana, Wyoming, and Washington, D.C. in annexing the territory.

Merrick's office where he is running off a hundred extra copies of the paper. E.B. and Blazanov are present, and it appears that the back room of the newspaper-cum-telegraph office is really a tent, which is news to me, but should make vandalizing the poor Russian even easier! E.B. claps his hands like a toddler getting a cookie and Merrick proposes they all take a walk. When Blazanov claims he can't leave his apparatus, Merrick blowhards about all of us being tethered to labor but discovering being tethered to labor and so discovering joy and a path to tethering allowing the rejuvenating pleasures of respite. For once in his life, E.B. speaks for us all when he says, "Take your walk alone Mr. Merrick," before turning to Blazanov and slithering on about wanting to learn how the telegraph machine works.

Miss Iz enters the newspaper office wanting to send a telegraph. Merrick heads up the stairs to the conveniently-discovered secret passageway between the office and the Gem. Good thing this passageway was discovered right about the time Al got interested in managing the media in Deadwood! It'll save both Al and Merrick a lot of extra steps, while also saving the set designer and continuity editor a lot of headaches establishing visual flow!

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Deadwood

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