Amalgamation And Capital

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: D | 9 USERS: A
Amalgamation And Capital

Mose employs an airtight defense strategy consisting of a) crazy eyes and b) telling the sheriff and his deputy to fuck themselves. Take notes, all you juvenile delinquents. Charlie pulls out the big guns when he asks the most penetrating question of all: "Why weren't you two watching Tom Nuttall's bike ride?" Hmmm, why indeed? You can't handle the truth! I wish Charlie had jumped up after he asked this and yelled, "The prosecution rests, your honor!"

So, like I said, this interrogation isn't going so well. Cy tells them to "put together a court or don't" and starts a verbal pissing contest with Charlie while Wolcott enters the joint, declaring that he must report a death to the sheriff. He explains that "a Cornishman in theft was shot at one of Mr. Hearst's claims." This is presumably the death that in the last episode treated us all to such, ahem, realistic depictions of a number of, um, rather elaborately-set family jewels.

Charlie takes this moment to shift out of courtroom drama mode and into History of Economics mode, blurting out that "It's all fucking amalgamation and capital, ain't it, Wolcott?" To which Wolcott rejoinders, in a terribly and unforgivingly smart-ass way, "Are you a student of Hume? Smith? A disciple of Karl Marx?" Bullock, who knows Wolcott is trying to embarrass Charlie by exposing that he doesn't know Hume from a horse's ass, tells Charlie that they should leave. As they leave, Wolcott tells Bullock that his employer "has interests and connections to Montana, sir, as are imputed to you in this morning's Pioneer." This sets Charlie off and the little man leaps up on a dusty red velvet ottoman (I know!), telling Wolcott to "shut your fucking mouth." Bullock drags Charlie out, but not before Charlie prognosticates that Wolcott had "got to you, didn't he, Mose? Now he's got to get you to die!" And, furthermore, why WEREN'T you watching Tom Nuttall's bike ride? Huh? Huh?

Tess sidles up to Mose, and he wraps his right arm around her back and through her legs so he can take a bite of the toast he holds in his hand. Um, okay, whatever, dude.

Out on the street Bullock wrangles an enraged Charlie, who declares he's "leaving the whole fuckin' camp" to bring Wild Bill's wife his final letter. Charlie and Bullock have apparently stopped at some sort of little food stand, which is rather humorous, especially as Charlie is flustered and tells the vendor that they have "camp business" there. Yes, excuse me, I have "camp business" with this here, um, crabapple. Anyway, Charlie explains to Bullock that Wolcott sold him Wild Bill's letter, which really does pour salt in a number of Charlie's wounds. He notes that "money must buy these cocksuckers any fuckin' thing they want! That cocksucker inside -- Mr. Amalgamation and Fuckin' Capital." I so totally hear Charlie on this one. Down with big business, and I mean seriously. During this whole thing, Charlie is absent-mindedly handling the produce in front of him; he chooses some little round green thing, weighs it, throws down a coin, and gestures to the vendor. Ah, do you see? Capitalism even here, but yet without the alienated labor! Lesson Number Two on capitalism? Done and done.

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