Amalgamation And Capital

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: D | 9 USERS: A
Amalgamation And Capital

Al proposes that Miss Iz might change her allegiance more readily than he, and is met with a beautifully arched eyebrow (seriously, where are these ladies getting their brows done?) as Iz asks what she can gain from doing so. Al, obviously bluffing, tells her he intercepted her "shitheel boss's" telegraph and that he'll read it to her verbatim. He does so while looking straight at her, which makes me think that he knows she knows that he doesn't know what her boss said, and that, further, she knows he knows that she knows he doesn't know. Got that? Good. Anyhoo, the gist of "the telegraph," a.k.a. Al's strong suggestions to Iz, is that she sign all the documents, take the $5,000, and disappear. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but with the sums normally bandied about on this show, 20 grand for this, 50 grand for that, $5,000 seems like kind of a rip-off, and I don't think Al should be ripping off someone as wily as Iz. Iz asks to see the money, Al hands it over, and Iz insists that the sheriff be present at her signing the documents and that he escort her from the camp. I just can't believe that she'll go so gently into that good night!

Dan looms over Blazanov, who geeks around about how he can't betray the confidence of the messages he sends and receives. Oh, give it up, pencil neck. Dan suggests that Blazanov "don't guarantee what you'll never do. Not without you imagining your feet stuck to the fire." The Russian takes this opportunity to spin some sad story about pogroms and murdered parents and how this proves he knows what he will and won't do. Dan's all, "Dude, this is America. We have the WILD WEST here! Don't be comin' at me with no namby-pamby Russian story!"

Back at the hardware store, William congratulates Tom on his bicycle ride and asks "how the boneshaker is doing" and Tom replies, "Well jiminy crickets young lad! The boneshake-a-roo is shim-shimminy grrrreeeaaat!" No, seriously, what's with Tom here? I mean, I get that he's a good-hearted man with a soft spot for kids, but when did he turn into Captain Kangaroo? Tom ambles over to Bullock and starts acting more normal, asking him what he's learned of the shooting the other day. Which we all know is a big fat nothin', but Bullock clenches about how they can't prove anything without any witnesses. Tom asks whether William can come help him "calibrate the boneshaker's handlebars." Um, I guess if that's what you want to call it. Martha says yes, and I take this moment to turn to my husband and ask if maybe I can calibrate his boneshaker's handlebars later on this evening.

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