Mister Wu

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B | 1 USERS: A+
Mister Wu

Downstairs, Johnny opens the doors again, admitting their favorite patron and E.B., who has joined him at the door. E.B. is miffed that he was shut out this way. "An august commencement to my administration," the mayor says, "[to] stand stymied outside a saloon beside a degenerate tit-licker." Upstairs, things are no happier. Wu has painted quite the picture. "Now this," Al says, pointing to one of the stick figures on the paper, "this is one of you, huh?" Wu also points, and does some Bruce Lee moves with a slice across the neck to confirm that yes, that drawing is a Chinese guy, and by the way, he's dead. Al gets it. He goes on, asking about the other two figures. "These two...?" Al asks. Wu ramps up his rage. "COCKSUCKAH!" he says, causing Al to roll his eyes. "Yeah," Al grumbles, "I'm glad I taught you that fucking word." With more looks and gestures, the whole story comes out. Two white men killed Wu's opium guy and stole the dope that Wu was going to sell to Al. Now Al's mad. "Who the fuck did it?" he yells. Wu: "Woo?" Al: "WHO, you ignorant fuckin' Chink?!" Wu: "WU?!" Beautiful, beautiful. It's like...racist vaudeville before vaudeville was even invented. "Whhho," Al enunciates, with maximum irritation. "Whhhho stole the fucking dope?" Wu, again: "COCKSUCKAH!" Wu's on first.E.B., Johnny, and Dan listen to all of this from the bar. Johnny says it's the first time he's ever heard that many "cocksuckers" shouted from Al's office that didn't result in Dan having to be dispatched with his knife. Meanwhile, in the corner, the Tit Licker has completed his daily duties. "I begrudge that pervert his capacity for happiness," E.B. mumbles to himself. "I do." Johnny is still concentrating on the ruckus from Al's office. "Them people," he says, "worship a fat man...seated on his ass."

The eternal struggle continues upstairs. Al pantomimes that he will find the thieving cocksuckers as well as the dope they stole. "White cocksuckah!" Wu says, nodding. They head downstairs, and Al tells him to go out the back way. "Or," Al says, "we'll start getting people having the wrong fucking idea about things around here." With this, he gives Wu a little pat on the back, earning a look of disappointment from the Chinaman, who does indeed go out the back way. Al goes to the bar for his morning shot and asks Dan where the resident dope fiend is. "I ain't seen Jimmy Irons," Dan says, "for three or four days." Al tells Dan to find him, before noticing, probably from the smell, that E.B. is there at the bar. "Anything the mayor should know?" E.B. asks, full of himself. Al barely glances as his new lavender coat: "The name of another tailor," he cracks. E.B. asks if they didn't have an engagement to stuff envelopes -- meaning the bribes for the Yankton legislators. "Not until I get the currency," Al says, "to stuff 'em with."

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