Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | Grade It Now!

At the Gem, Johnny is dishing out canned fruit into bowls on the bar. E.B. sidles up to Al, reporting that Trixie did her duty doping the widow. "Did you happen to offer on her gold claim?" Al asks, but E.B. says the timing wasn't right. "The dope had made the widow randy," he says. "Lustful looks, heavy breathing, outthrust chest. The full catalogue." Love it. Al gives him an eyebrow and says he hopes E.B. comported himself as a fuckin' gentleman. E.B. looks offended: "There was a child in the room!"Al calls the meeting to order. "Peaches and pears on the fuckin' bar," he says. "Spoon it out amongst yourselves." Sadly, after all of Johnny's hard work, nobody rushes for the fruit. Al gets down to business. "Plague's in the fuckin' camp," he says. Doc clarifies. "Smallpox," he says. "Plague is spread by rats." Al sighs. "I was raised calling it 'plague,'" he says, "but Doc wants that in reserve in case our luck holds and the rats decide to descend on us, too." E.B. laughs too loudly at this little joke, while Al goes on. "Whatever you fuckin' call it," he says, "the point is for no one to raise their fuckin' dresses over their heads." Al says the thing to do is wait it out. He says he's outlasted several outbreaks, and though they are not pretty, they do pass. Ever the humanitarian, Al says they need a place to treat the sick and keep them out of sight so that the rest of the men in town don't freak out and run. Sol offers the lumber he and Bullock have left from their building. Al says no, that a tent would leave a better impression, showing people it's only a temporary phase. They go on to discuss the vaccine and how to get it. Al suggests sending teams of five riders to Fort Kearney, Bismarck, and Cheyenne, the three places they figure would have it. He thinks they should offer sixty bucks a rider, ten in advance, and fifty on the return. E.B. does some impressive math, figuring it all up to be $900 if all the riders survive. Adding in the price of the vaccine and payment for the Doc, Al figures they need to come up with $1,500, and immediately lays down $500 to start. Cy also puts in five hundred. Nuttall throws in two hundred, and when E.B. tries to follow suit, he gets admonished by Al -- "are you fuckin' kidding me?" -- and lays down fifty more. Sol puts in fifty, and Al excuses Merrick from contributing, which is sweet. Merrick says he'll work on a statement for The Pioneer, and asks for an interview with the Doc. "Give some sort of positive fuckin' angle to it," Al says, mulling it all over. "Like say 'vaccine's on it's way' or about how it's the mild fuckin' type." From the sidelines, the Rev pipes up, saying it would be useful to avoid apocalyptic predictions. Al agrees. "Yeah," he says, "nip that Sodom and Gomorrah shit in the bud," he says.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP