Deadwood
The Catbird Seat

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: A | 6 USERS: A
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The Catbird Seat

At the Grand Central, E.B. has come to a personal crossroads. He remains frozen to the spot in which we last saw him. The spit (bleeegghhh) on his face has dried, as to Hearst's wishes, but his eyes betray the division in his soul. "That I have not wiped his expectoration from my cheek is understandable; I'm threatened with death if I do," he explains to no one. "That I stand immobile these hours later speaks of a flaw in my will." E.B., like anyone who has suffered a severe shock, narrows his eyes, expecting the other shoe to drop. "Surely this is not the culminating indignity. There remains, for example, receiving his regurgitations or swallowing his feces!" Oh, E.B., you speak for all of us, out here, downtrodden by The Man. He makes a decision and whips out his handkerchief. "Would I stand stoic, still?" he asks, and blood boiling, addresses his imaginary nemesis, Hearst, calling upon his years of Swearingen training. "I am going to fuck you up," he mutters, wiping his face. "I'm going to fuck you up, and I'm the kind of c*nt you'll let close." He stomps out of his back room, passing Richardson on the staircase, in prayer. He doesn't even break his stride. "Quit it, Richardson."

Merrick is still holding Al up at the Gem, hoping his article gains approval. "Perfect," Al says, dismissing him with a wave of his glasses. "Fuckin' wafts just the way you want it to." He goes out into the street where he runs into Langrishe. "Young man," Jack greets him, perhaps surprised to see him out so late, "at the soul's dark hour?" Al shakes his head. "Name one that fuckin' ain't," he scoffs, as E.B. joins them, staring expectantly. He invites himself to attend their business in the hardware store and they all head in, interrupted by Harry, still in the saddle, who farts himself awake. "Excuse me," he says, as they look over at him. "Waiting for the sheriff; we campaign in Sturgis." He falls back asleep as Al and the gang go inside. A rider passes him at a quick clip, looking at the whole scene with curiosity. How bad do you feel for the actor who plays Harry? He gets a role on this great show and he's...the good-natured farter? Can you imagine? Actor: "What's my motivation?" Milch: "Beans."

Inside, Al gets right to the point. He's pissed. "A meeting, I gather, of the upper fucking crust exclusively," he snarks. "No hoi polloi need apply." Now, Al, you know you are neither hoi, nor polloi. Bullock is appropriately understanding of his frustration. "I ought to have called you," he says, kindly bring Al up to speed. "What events in the camp would argue I be called back from Sturgis is what we are trying to decide." Sol adds to this placating by adding that really, it's not an official meeting. "Now I don't feel so horribly injured," Al says, dryly. Jack chimes in theatrically, like representing counsel: "The meeting, per se, is what he'll not be kept from." They all smirk, and Al introduces Langrishe, vouching that he's all right. Needing no introduction, E.B. gives a quiet wave.

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Deadwood

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