Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 4 USERS: A
Lost In America

Landry rushes Matt along, wanting to leave for school. Matt doesn't know if they're supposed to pick Julie up because she hasn't responded to any of the four messages he left her. He proposes that they go by her house, and if she's there then they were supposed to pick her up, but if she's not then they weren't. Oh, Matt. Landry -- and here is where old Landry would be funny and leveling -- makes a weirdly aggro joke about Matt keeping his testicles are in Julie's panty drawer. Before Landry can pick up a lead pipe and bash Matt over the head, a delivery guy knocks on the Saracen front door. Matt accepts the package and Grandma comes waltzing in, asking, "Is that my tiara?" She takes it out of the package just as Matt sees the invoice, "Twenty-four hundred dollars?" Grandma is beaming: "Isn't it pretty?" She puts the tiara on her head, grins wildly, and walks away, presumably to finish watching her Little House on the Prairie re-runs. Or maybe I'm getting Grandma's Friday morning mixed up with my own.

Booster breakfast meeting at Applebees. Mmm, breakfast riblets. Buddy is talking about hosting the season opener pep rally. New Coke interrupts to say that it's been decided to have a change of venue this year. It's going to be a barbecue at Lester's ranch; "You know make it, uh, wholesome." Buddy protests that Garrity Motors is wholesome, but the boosters shut him down, faking concern for all that he has going on in his life right now.

At school, kids shriek and bounce around in slow motion to Big Star's "September Gurls." T. Rex last week and Big Star this week? Somebody must be going through a '70s power pop phase. It's the first day of school, and the kids are all excited to be gathered in one place, continuing their quest to not learn anything, ever. Except Matt, who is on his cell phone pleading with someone about needing in-home care for his grandmother. Landry is making a lot of useless white noise at Matt for no discernible reason. Matt catches sight of Julie and calls out to her. She doesn't really stop moving in her preferred direction -- which is away from Matt -- but pauses long enough to tell him her phone is dead. And then when he asks if she wants to do anything later, she tells him to call her. On her, presumably, dead phone. Matt just looks dejected. It's like he's stuck in that episode of Arrested Development where all the men keep ending up doing the depressed Charlie Brown shuffle.

In the cafeteria, the God Squad is being led in a prayer by Lyla. The prayer is all about where Christ should be for all of them during the day -- before and behind, on the right and the left, in the sandwich and in the chili. (Not really those last places). Tim saunters into the room while Lyla leads the prayer, and though the other God Cadets keep their heads bowed, Lyla's covetous eyes track Tim as he walks up to a random blonde and starts making out with her. Lyla keeps droning on -- "Christ in Mr. Zabnick's coffee breath, Christ in the art teacher's floozy cleavage..." Tim walks away from Lyla and toward the viewer, his face flooded with complete sexy mischief. Sexy Mischief. That's either the name of my new band or of my new modeling pose.

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Friday Night Lights




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