Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B+ | 5 USERS: A+

The gym, full of girls. Tyra and Julie recline crankily on the bleachers when Landry and Matt walk in. Julie squirms in her seat and asks "Why is he here? This is gonna be so awkward." Landry blows a whistle and declares, "Ladies!" I happened to pause just as the camera cuts back to Julie and Tyra, and Adrianne Palicki is working one seriously practiced teenaged sneer towards Landry. Love it. Landry tells them he's the official Powderpuff referee and tells the girls to "play this beautiful game in the spirit it was meant." The spirit of bitchiness, I hope that is. The gym teacher introduces Matt and Tim as this year's coaches, and the girls squeak and woooo! And then the best thing of all happens: Matt and Tim get to pick teams. There is nothing I love more, in a Darwin Was a Bitch sense, then this peculiarly cruel gym class ritual.

Matt gets first choice and so....he picks Tyra. An obvious choice given that Tyra is a huge woman full of wrath, but also funny because Matt had to fully turn around to even see her sitting behind everyone on the bleachers. Tim, looking serious with a finger to his chin asks, "Does anyone here know how to chop block?" Cut to Tyra mouthing "Oh. My. God," before a girl with a wittle white wibbon in her haiwr raises her hand and says "I do!" Tim: "Nice. Let's go." That delivery was hott. Matt then...picks some girl named Laurel. Julie looks pissed. Back to Tim: "Let's go, Garrity." Is it bad that every time I hear this kid say "let's go" my hand involuntarily goes to the buttons on my jeans? Everyone is all "oooo!" at Tim's choice, and Lyla just bounces over to him, her ponytail thumbing its nose at the boy all the way along. Matt's choice again, and this time he picks..."Julie Taylor, please? Please?" Julie stomps off the bleachers and over to his side, her hair flowing like a beautiful lioness's.

Empty school hallway. At the very end, Jason sits in front of the door and starts wheeling down the hall. A bell rings, and kids pour into the hall. Tons of kids stop to shake hands and say hi. He makes some small talk, dorkily dorking, "Crazy for me to be here, huh, had a free pass outta here, huh?" He really is a dork, isn't he? He continues wheeling down the hallway, smiling and shaking his head.

Another hallway, Coach shuffles up to a door and sticks his head inside where Mac is teaching a class. Teaching? As Coach asks to speak to him a second, we overhear Mac telling the class to read the book and learn the finer points if they want to get their driver's licenses. Ahh. Not teaching, but "teaching." Out in the hallway, Coach tells Mac that he was just talking with the superintendent who says that newspapers and people are calling from all over the state. Mac scoffs that they must not have anything better to do, but Coach quickly and seriously tells Mac he needs to issue a public apology. Mac: "Apology for what? For being truthful?" Coach, obviously being tactful, but still a bit too neutral on this for my taste, tells Mac that "that's not the way people heard it." Mac thinks he's getting chased by "a bunch of PC sons a bitches who are after my job." Yes, all those "PC" folks out there gunning for those assistant coach jobs at their local high school. Get your stereotypes straight, Mac. The "PC folks" around there are probably too busy trying to get the high school poetry magazine off the ground.

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Friday Night Lights




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