Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
New School Blues

On the brown field, the Bad News Bears struggle through their workout. Kids are draggin' ass all over the place, limping and side-stitched up. Coach gathers them together and shouts, "Listen up! Gathered y'all here to see what you're made of." His watch beeps. "And after 18 minutes, I think I've seen enough." OUCH. Coach tells them to go home tonight and think long and hard about whether they want this. If they realize they don't, there's no shame in that. But if they do decide they want this, they're to be on the field at six a.m. sharp.

Melancholy music plays as we cut to Coach lining his own brown field with chalk. A police cruiser pulls up and Coach makes conversation with the detective. Meanwhile, Wallace has gotten out of the car, prompting Coach to wonder what this is all about. The detective wants to know if Coach has heard of the "Cops and Jocks" program. Coach nods and exposits that it's a "second chance program." The detective tells him that Wallace is a good kid, but with a record, and the next stop would be juvie, which is "not a good path." Coach wants to be assured that the kid isn't a murderer or a dog abuser (re: this last one, Coach: I knew we were soulmates). The kid comes over, introduces himself as Vince, and tells Coach that he plays football all the time. "Madden," he says. Coach says "Huh?" He says "Madden" again, Coach says "Wha?" again. The detective clarifies that he's talking about a video game. Coach wants to know if he's ever played real football, you know, with your body. He says no, but he likes to run, and most importantly, when Coach asks "You like to hit?" and then specifies, "People?" Vince is like HELL YEAH. Coach tells him to be at the field at six a.m. sharp, Vince takes a moment and then nods, "I'll be there." Yes! We roll to credits, and I am officially on board with this scrappy new team.

What we can gather about the season from the new credits: we are now all about red, not blue. Taylor Kitsch is still around. Some girl is aggressively into interpretive dance.

The Fat Cat Panther inner sanctum is busy discussing how it feels to stuff their jock straps with thousand dollar bills when Tami Taylor walks in. Buddy averts his glance, but the new coach Wade Aikman stands up and starts clapping for her. She obviously wants to tell them all to save it to for erectile dysfunction specialists, but the men continue applauding her, expositing that it's because of her that the redistricting of Dillon and East Dillon have gone so smoothly. Tami smiles and lays on the poisonous honey: "Well, I certainly do hope y'all get everything y'all deserve this year." Joe "Abusive Guy Smiley" McCoy smarms all over her as Wade tells her they asked her down because they want her to call the coin toss at Friday's game. Tami protests that that is usually Lady Mayor's job, but they insist. Joe pulls a serious face and tells her that they'd like for her to call heads. Pause. Then he busts out laughing. Oh, Joe, what a hilarious joke, poking fun of your own ability to call heads or tails on other people's livelihoods! Tami just says she'll think about it, and rolls her eyes to Tulsa and back on her way out of the door.

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Friday Night Lights

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