Friday Night Lights
El Accidente

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B- | 1 USERS: A
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Inspiration Alert! Back over at the Depressingly Realistic Rehab Facility, Lyla tacks some cheery crap on Jason's bulletin board and asks the nurse if she's gotten word on their request to get Jason more time in the weight room. She turns around and approaches Jason's bed and let me change that Inspiration Alert to an Inspir-Breast-ion Alert, because Minka Kelly's chestal region is just acting the shit out of this scene. The nurse leaves, clearly because it's just too difficult to maintain one's professional dignity while staring at a young girl's boobies. Jason is in a high-spirited mood, as he tells Lyla that they call her "Advocado" around the facility. She doesn't get it. He explains, "Like 'advocate' and 'avocado'." I don't quite get it either, unless he means to refer to the fact that she is an advocate who happens to also have a pair of particularly luscious and delicious parts. Lyla says she isn't amused, but Jason finds it hilarious. He wings out one of his gnarled arms to pull her in toward her, and Minka Kelly goes into clenched jaw delivery, telling him that they are "in a public place" without parting her teeth.

Jason continues laughing like a hyena and says "I knew it! I knew it!" and when Lyla asks what, he directs her glance downward and says, "We have a visitor!" God. How tired. I mean, how many times to we have to see representations of paraplegic teen sexuality before television writers will realize how done it all is? Jason tells Lyla that he's totally horny, and she at first hits him in protestation, telling him she's never heard him talk like that before. But then she lowers her voice a register and purrs, "It's naughty." Lyla is absolutely saved from insufferability by having this relatively believable sexuality. Jason claws at his girlfriend's back with his gnarled fingers and she rolls on top of him to make out. He tells her she's one-of-a-kind.

Short-Haired Nurse of Cold Showers walks in and says hello to Lyla, who hops off Jason quick as a bunny with big boobs. Jason jokily asks the nurse for forty minutes of privacy, and Lyla has her Public Face back on, assuring the nurse that they don't need that. The nurse asks Lyla to leave so she can talk to Jason, and Lyla walks out of the room with a really blank face, and I can't tell if they just kept the camera on Minka Kelly without her realizing it was on her, or if she is supposed to be showing guilt over her two-booby -- oops, I mean -- two-timing ways.

Speaking of two-timing boobies, Tim is working on his truck with his brother, who tells him not to get dirt in his carburetor. Is that a metaphor? I think so, because just as he says it, he looks past Tim and tells him that they've got company. And this time the visitor is not an erect penis. Lyla walks up, and we cut to Tim reaching into a cooler for a beer and the two of them sitting in the shade on the front step of the house. Minka Kelly slants her eyebrows down at the edges in her annoying pout and tells Tim that they "have to stop this." Tim leans back and doesn't say anything. She begs him to look at her and then launches in to one of the worst-delivered monologues I've ever witnessed, and, folks, I just watched the movie Switch last night, where Ellen Barkin plays a woman who is actually a reincarnated chauvinist pig of a man, and she basically does it by delivering all her lines with her lips shoved out and walking around like she has a load in her pants.

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Friday Night Lights

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