Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: A | 3 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Same As It Ever Was

In the hallway, Smash complains to Matt that Coach kicking Tim off the team just hangs him (Smash) out to dry. Matt thinks Coach has a point but before he can be too reasonable, a girl approaches him and introduces herself. Her name is Lauren and she's new to the school. Matt dorkily admits that he's seen her around, and he stutter-exposits in that singular Zach Gilford way that he knows she's a cheerleader. Lauren practically throws her panties at Matt when she tells him what an honor (gag) it is to cheer for him (retch), that he is just sooo talented (spew). The five guys hanging around Smash and Matt are all Beavis and Buttheading in the background and she walks off. Smash tells Matt that all his Julie problems are about to be over.

Coaches are watching game tape when Buddy interrupts by dragging Santiago behind him. Buddy declares that they owe it to the team to check the kid out. Cut outside to the field where a bunch of white men stand around evaluating Santiago's physical prowess. So distasteful. Santiago lifts weights, runs sprints, performs standing jumps. Buddy is all "hoo whee boy!" over it all; Coach is more cautious and wants to see what he can do with his hands. Which it turns out, is not much. Santiago can't catch a ball to save his life. He's got the raw power, but none of the skill that would have required teaching. Stand and Deliver, my friend! Coach tries to ask Santiago a few questions about how long he's been going to school at Dillon, but Buddy keeps answering for him, sort of muttering that Santiago was doing that "juvenile detainment thing for a while." Eric gets pissed and tells Buddy that he assumes Santiago can talk. Santiago looks so heartbreakingly confused when Eric asks him if he wants to play football. He answers "Sure?" before Eric gruffs "That wasn't an offer." Coach wants to see him "go long" and Buddy tells the kid to run. Only no one explained that "go long" means run and then turn and catch the ball, so the ball lobs through the air as Santiago just keeps running, running, running. Eric suggests that Buddy go stop the kid before he climbs the wall in front of him. Those are cheap jokes and they make me a little uncomfortable.

Landry is gazing at a picture of Tyra on his cell phone. Oh, lord, that is just precious, per-esh-is. Landry's dad comes in and tells him dinner is ready, but Landry says he isn't hungry. You know things are bad when you find out that he's refusing chicken fried steak. Landry tries to tell his father that nothing's wrong, but breaks down under his father's incredibly effective discipline-by-love gaze. Landry, tears in his eyes, tells his dad that Tyra dumped him. His father sighs and then tells his son that "girls can be squirrelly that way. Especially the cute ones." I want a t-shirt with a picture of a squirrel and the caption "Squirrelly" under it. You hear that, world? Landry's dad then follows up with a really sweet question: "She doesn't have you feeling badly about yourself does she?" That's the kind of question that really gives you insight into Landry's character, and also reminds you how very fucked his character has to be for the rest of his life over murdering someone. Landry's dad then says a really standard, unhelpful parental thing, that there will be other girls. Landry replies, "Not like this one."

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Friday Night Lights

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