Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B+ | 2 USERS: A
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Eating Crow
Garrity Motors. Jason is trying to sell a hybrid truck to a real mealy-mouthed type. He tries to push the sale, but the guy turns on his heel and leaves, saying he has to think about it. Jason looks crushed. Cut to a little later, Jason moping at his desk, Buddy coming up to ask how he's doing. Jason starts venting about how he just spent two and a half hours with a customer. Seriously? That is not they way we shop for large purchases in our household. We prefer to close our eyes, point our fingers at something, and hand over the credit card, because really, who can be bothered with all that product-research nonsense and price-comparison bunk? Jason caps off his pity party by telling Buddy about how all the other salespeople hate him because he messed up the point system. Buddy is like, "The point what now?" and Jason starts explaining. Buddy interrupts, laughing. There is no point system, they're just giving Jason a hard time. He can't believe Annabelle could be such a wily filly. Only Buddy Garrity could make me pause and think, "Hmm, 'filly.' Now there's a sexist moniker deserving of a comeback." And further, the mealy-mouthed guy that just walked out on Jason? Gerald? "He's a tire-kicker, a looky-loo." He comes in twice a week and looks, but never buys. It would've been nice if someone had alerted Jason to that fact sometime during the hundred and fifty minutes he spent wheeling around after the guy. Then Buddy comes up with exactly the sort of lesson Jason needs. He tells him to stop taking everything so hard: "It's just a job, Jason, no more, no less." Which is exactly what Jason needs to hear. Buddy compares the job to two-a-days, to those times when you don't know why you're playing football at all, but that later in the season, it all pays off. Er, except for when it doesn't and paralyzes you instead. I'd like to write an open letter to the elders on this show and suggest they stop metaphorizing life through football to Jason Street.

At Applebee's, Jean and Landry are discussing the "sizzlin' apple pie." Exactly the kind of disgusting nonsense teenagers go for. She sings the pie's praises, saying that it comes out, get this, "sizzling" -- and that it will save his life. Tyra approaches the table, and Landry stutters that he didn't know she was working then. Tyra gives him a smug smile and just says, "Yeah, shift change." After exchanging awkward nods with Jean, she goes off to get them glasses of water. Jean innocently asks Landry, "Isn't that your friend from school?" before changing the subject: "So...you're wearing a Mayhem shirt." Pause. "Isn't the singer, like, a cannibal?" I'm totally psyched for when they somehow work a Gwar concert into the plot; maybe have Jean come to school with stain-free blood in her hair the next morning. She continues, telling Landry she thinks it's odd that he would be a fan of cannibals, since he's in a Christian power-metal band. Landry answers by saying that, first of all, he's not actually a cannibal -- he didn't actually eat anyone, and that second of all, Crucifictorious isn't really "power metal," but more like "extreme grindcore with like, uh, heavy thrash influences." Without missing a beat, Jean replies, "Like what thrash? Like Napalm Death? Like The Keep?" Landry is totally psyched he's sitting in a booth, because something about how she says "Napalm Death" is clearly giving him some tingles below the belt. She continues, "Like, Cannibal Corpse? Carcass?" And I fully approve of any writerly machinations that allow a character to just list off hilarious thrash band names. She catches herself and explains to Landry that she only has, like, two sections for vinyl, "metal, not-metal." Vinyl too?! Landry isn't going to be able to get up from his seat for at least twenty more minutes. But just as things really start heating up, Cannibal Corpse-style, Tyra slams down a couple of drinks on their table and asks if they're ready to order. Jean orders the apple pie and chips and salsa while Landry just sits there, mouth hanging open.

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Friday Night Lights

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