Friday Night Lights
I Think We Should Have Sex

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B+ | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Sometimes I Like a Little Puddin'

Cut to the Par-Tay with lots of wheels and lots of woos. PEOPLE STOP IT WITH THE WOOS! A girl walks over to the kitchen sink and opens the cabinet door underneath, and our friend the quadruple amputee rolls out. Yawn. Like that doesn't happen every Wednesday night in my house. The girl --with that particularly bad "alternative" shade of died red hair (I can mock because I've done it) -- shrieks and everybody laughs. Jason sees his Our Lady of Wheels near the stereo, and he approaches her. She says she's supposed to pick out the next song, but she doesn't recognize any of the music. Jason points to one saying, "It's a classic, gotta go with that one." She puts it in, expositing, "Loretta Lynn, nice." Whatever. Jason apologizes for his TRULY HORRIFIC gaffe the other day. WTF? She apologizes back, and they make small talk. She tells him that her "business" is "ink. I'm a tattoo artist." Jason LOVES it. "BECAUSE I'M A CRIPPLE AND I WANNA TATTOO, MOM."

Back in Boring Land, Mac informs Coach that someone saw Daddyshack coming out of the A/V room right before the camera went missing. Mac says this information once. Then Coach says it once. Then Mac repeats it. Then Coach sighs. Fantastic scene! Bravo!

Cut to Coach walking up to the Riggins's house, where Walt is presumably now living. Walt answers the door, and Coach tells him that the camera's gone missing. Walt snarks about whether Coach is going door to door asking all the parents about it. Coach is honest and says no. Tim comes out from behind his dad and says, "He says he doesn't know where the camera is, Coach." Eric turns to leave, and Tim follows him outside, haranguing him about whether he's going to other players' fathers. Coach turns on a dime, tells Tim he didn't know he was there, and apologizes.

"Angela, please." Buddy is firing Tyra's mom. He tells her that his friend needs "a front office girl" and then hands her "six, seven hundred dollars walking around money" from a wad of cash. She sniffles and stalks off.

Julie and Tyra are browsing the Slut Department. Julie asks Tyra what her first time was like, and Tyra responds, "You ever watch the nature channel?" Julie goes chalk white before Tyra laughs and says she was kidding. Tyra looks at Julie intently and tells her that she doesn't have to do this. Julie says she wants to, and Tyra assures her, "Because there will always be a steady stream of horny football players in Dillon, I can guarantee that." Julie giggles and says she really likes Matt and then confesses that she thinks this is "the perfect opportunity where I can control the whole situation. You know, get the information and gather the data." Tyra's eyes widen in disbelief as she looks at a black lace thong, "Wow, sounds hoottt." She tosses the thong to Julie and says, "For Matt. Throw the guy a bone while you're gathering your data." Heh. So, is Julie talking about the gathering of data BEFORE the sex -- asking girlfriends what it's like, buying sexy underwear, internet research (ugh, maybe not that last part) -- or is she literally planning on gathering data during the act itself? Like, she's reaching around Matt's back with a clipboard in one hand and a pen in another, all "Well, controlling for variables, I'd say that the results of this experiment are: DISAPPOINTING."

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Friday Night Lights

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