Friday Night Lights
Kingdom

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: A | 4 USERS: A+
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Julie shuffles into her dorm room in the full light of morning, chewing gum like a WHORE. Just kidding. Julie Taylor is no whore. She's the best! It's just that the gum chewing is kind of a hilarious cue re: her current early-college moral-sexual quandry. Her roommate gives her the business for not coming home last night and Julie says she just needs to sleep. She hops up into her loft bed and begs her roommate to cover for her in class; she agrees, as long as Julie signs in for her at the poetry reading tomorrow. Also, Julie's mom called. Twice.

Lots of folks gathered to watch the Lions board the yellow bus to Kingdom. Hastings deposits a bottle of Jack Daniels into his duffel. Buddy gives Buddy, Jr. (now on the team) an ill-timed primer on hazing. He assures him it isn't as bad as it was in his day (full-body shaving and all those other not-at-all-homosocial activities). Vince and Jess talk about the rooming situation and Vince complains that she didn't set them up in a room together. He points out that there will be no moms or aunties on this trip. She tells him to win the game first and then they can talk about celebrating. They make out a bit. The boys are all on the bus while folks cheer and shout at them; the bus gets going just as two people hoist a huge banner reading "REVENGE" for it to drive through. Coach just shakes his head. Hastings, from the back, snerks, "Coach, are we there yet?" and Coach just pulls his hat down tight over his hair, which is obviously groaning with dread over being stuck in this metal box with these smelly boys.

Credits. Tami hangs out after the bus has pulled out leaving yet another message for Julie. She tells her that her dad just left for the weekend, so she's all along with Gracie Belle and just missing Julie. Repeats that a few times then sighs and hangs up. Laurel comes up and proposes a Girls' Weekend to counter the Guys' Weekend happening in Kingdom. Tami is surprised to hear that movies still exist, she hasn't been to one in so long, but says she can't go with Laurel because of the baby. So Laurel suggests that she bring white wine and Chinese over to Tami's and Tami is like, hey, okay! Tami was burned from her failed Ladymance with Katie McCoy, but she seems surprised and excited to maybe have a new female friend.

The bus drives down the road, rocking and rolling. Inside the boys are rapping under the tutelage of Coach Spivey. Coach Crowley hands Taylor some cotton to put in his ears. Luke is no wordsmith: "I'm Luke Cafferty / If I start rapping, y'all might laugh at me." Tinker is a bit better, but all the roof raising comes to an end when the bus breaks down. Cut to Billy working on the engine, Coach suggesting they call AAA, Billy declaring that AAA "is for women" and then making a series of super fresh jokes about what men are like and what women are like. Thank you, Jeff Foxworthy! Inside the bus, Vince asks Luke what he's doing, as a Baptist, looking into a Methodist university. Luke just says, "Play football" and then mentions that the recruiter is coming to their game tomorrow. These recruiters are obviously the real whores of the episode! Vince asks if he can take a look at the brochure Luke is flipping through.

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Friday Night Lights

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