Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
I Pity The Fool

Cut to Julie cautiously leaving the parking lot with the instructor in the passenger seat, Tami standing on the curb holding Gracie, watching her go. Never has a receding economy sedan looked so tender and poignant. We really see the car through Tami's eyes, as she talks sweetly to Gracie: "There she goes, Gracie. Getting her driver's license." Then she brings a hand to her face to stifle the tears. So sweet.

Tyra and her mom (Angela "Broke Her Butt" Collette) hang out in their kitchen, Tyra doing laundry, Angela with tweezers and a compact exclaiming over the whiskers on her upper lip. Tyra tells her to just pay to get them waxed, and then awkwardly asks her mom (she calls her "Momma," which I love) if she ever competed with a girl over a guy. Angela is like, hunny, have you seen how abject I am in every moment of my life? Of course I have! "Oh, hunny, the question is, really, did I ever not compete with another girl over a guy." She tells her daughter that she likes the chase, she likes to win. She tells her that that sort of competition is in her blood. Tyra says she thinks it's all so stupid, and Angela remarks that of course she does: "You're just so much more evolved than your poor mother."

Somewhat less evolved is Mindy "The Missing Link" "Ole Sis" Collette, who as you may remember is a stripper over at The Landing Strip, where we find Tim Riggins and Matt Saracen on this lovely sunny afternoon. Lots of excessively clothed strippers writhe around on the stage while Tim signals for two more lemon drops. Served with little umbrellas, Timmy? Those are some girly shots he's ordering. Matt, that dopey grin plastered on his face, wonders why they never did this before. Tim gets up and says he's going to return with a surprise for Matt. What, a case of herpes? Very likely so, as he approaches Ole Miss and asks her to send someone over to Matt for a lap dance. She calls over to a Dita Von Teese look-alike, dressed all in red satin, and tells her to go easy on Matt because he's still in high school. Dita sort of gurgles with pleasure over how cute Matt is, and he goofily tells her that he's almost done with high school. Ole Miss leans over the table, watching it all go down; a guy behind her reaches out and grabs her ass, and she turns on a syphilis-coated dime and smacks his hand away. He complains about Tim and Matt getting all the attention and she explains: "That's cuz they're younger and don't need Viagra." Matt and Tim are loving it, when Matt reaches in his pocket and pulls out his vibrating...cell phone. His jaw drops and he sort of pushes Dita aside and runs off.

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Friday Night Lights

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