Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 3 USERS: A-
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Daddy Issues

Noah From Pedophiladelphia is like, "This is a good article. Cut it down by 500 words." Julie points out that this is half the piece, and he gives the awesome answer, "Find the right half." She protests that she was supposed to show range, and he reads her first sentence, which includes both "blustery" and "multiloquous," a word I've never even heard, but then Noah says something so weird it's like Martian to me, about how you should not use "ten-dollar words" when a "nickel word" would suffice. What? You should sacrifice multiloquicity for simple perspicacity? Is he, in addition to being a pervert, a formicating drug user? You should always use the longest words and most torturous syntax possible, so that people will think you're smart. That's just common noûs. Noah offers that she could stand to lose the three angry paragraphs about Rally Girls (see?), and she's like, "But you said it was good!" It is, he says, but holds forth a beautiful epigram I've not heard before: "Good is the enemy of great." That's nice. That's Jason Street talk right there. "The less a reporter says, the more she hears." She ribs him about his journalistic career, and he's like, "Um, before I started boffing high school students I did Journalism at Columbia and then a year at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel." Okay then! They are edging up on breezy-flirty as he tells her again to cut it down. Dude, if you're after getting' the honey, then you don't go killing all the bees! We've been through this!

Sitting at dinner with Smash and his family, Mysterious Snake Oil Girl totally jokes about how when her brother Owen was getting courted, she was a "slave" for him. She asks if Noannie is taking his messages yet, getting a succinct variation on "fuck no," then explains how her brother invented playing them off each other. Smash is like, "Wow, that is brilliant." I can't tell if he's actually impressed with this or just trying to be cute, but mostly I can't think about it because my mind is blown because I cannot imagine having dinner with the Williams family and even thinking the word "slave" in any context, even in my brain. Mama keeps asking about the education he's getting, at this college which is in Miami, and she shrugs it off awesomely, like, "Yeah, sure, whatever. My Dad says he's making connections on the team that totally rank on an MBA." Mama's not dissuaded: "So your dad's an idiot too. How about your mom? Does she worry about the fact that college sports are a ticket to poorness and injury?" Her answer? "Guys like Smash are blessed -- that's as close as you can get to a guarantee." So, that would be a yes. Mama is so grossed out. I would throw that little girl out of my house because she is obviously a secret agent who means them no good.

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Friday Night Lights

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