Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 3 USERS: A-
Daddy Issues

Having finally coaxed the boys into a half-assed formation, Lyla takes center stage and tries to show them the moves she's come up with. Landry looks especially adorable right now. Everybody laughs at her cheerleader moves, but lest you think she's being stupid, she's like, "Dude, it's supposed to be funny. This is funny." But since we already had the Powder Puff episode last year -- another thing I had to explain to Ali was all too real, just unbelievably serious business -- you know that's not happening. She heads over to Tyra to regroup, and Tyra thinks. What is totally fucked up and bizarre and awesome? What's the Tyra angle on this situation? While spinning her wheels, with Lyla looking frustrated, she snaps at one of the guys -- the cute one with the awful fake contacts that was Smash's second in command during the Mac McGill thing -- to put his shirt back on. Her hilarious appalledness turns immediately to intrigue, and she tells him to take it off again. This, of course, causes all of those boys to start shucking their clothing. There's a great shot of Matt and Landry looking very nervous, among literally acres of muscled football flesh, and then before you can blink, the Guys have officially Gone Wild. Tyra is like, "This. This is entertainment." At its most basic! Let me tell you about a little show called Friday Night Lights, girlfriend. Tyra gets up and does a very sexy dance with him, and Lyla giggles and then commits to the process, and then the whole thing turns into Matrix: Reloaded. Only, you know, fun.

Julie laughs about Noah's iPod, and how it's entirely full of Hannah Montana and KidzBop: Pussycat Dolls, and Tami comes running into the room because somebody projected the Julie Batsignal of Mother May I Sleep With Danger onto the wide Texas sky. (Matt, the Swede, now Noah: she's going to be dating Buddy Garrity by the end of the season at this rate.) Noah gets his feet off the desk with a quickness and Tami stares the shit out of him. He's like, "Your daughter -- who is sitting right here, a good twelve inches away from my sexy scary self -- has a feature in the Chronicle!" Tami gives him the keys he asked for, even though he already held the staff meeting somehow, and she's like, "Great." Julie scatters, and Tami basically goes into a total ninja pose, ready to kick his head through the window in the most amazing field goal of all time. After officially putting the fear of God into his mostly oblivious head, she stalks out into the hall, giving an awesome teacher-voice "JULIE" into the quiet hall.

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Friday Night Lights




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