Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Daddy Issues

Buddy Garrity, never happier than when he's shouting into a megaphone (**), welcomes everybody to Pantherama, which: love the name, so much, and introduces the Panthers. Grandma Saracen is adorable and really quite lovely on a bad day, but tonight she is, I hasten to point out, wearing cat ears. Not to overidentify, and I realize it's weird, but she looks even more like my Grandmother with those things on, and it made me homesick some more. Lyla's doing her "I'll be right here to the side if you need me" thing she does, that I love so much, and meanwhile Tyra's like, "Don't fuck up," which I also love so much. You could say my whole life has been trying to equalize my Tyra-slash-Rayanne tendencies and my Patty Chase tendencies into a workable person, and so that person is pretty much Lyla, but if that means I get to make out with both Street and Riggins, I can't see how that's a bad thing. "You're going to be great!" yelps Lyla, which is both sweet and good, because everything Lyla says, happens, because she's possessed of a powerful will. The Panthers run out onto the court doing that whole "raise the roof" with their arms that sports teams have been doing since caveman pep rallies, and Tami gives the girls a happy, naïve thumbs up.

The boys, our boys, form up and dance awkwardly for a second, and then...things get Miss Jackson If You're Nasty pretty quickly. There are one thousand shocked shots of everybody on the entire show and their extended families; Tami's jaw hits the floor for the eightieth time, the lesbian mayor loves it, Noannie and Corrina are loving it, it's totally dirty, "Gina" loves it, Landry is somehow even hotter for being the only one who keeps his undershirt on, and...BOOM! The pants come off! Mama Corrina is like "Whaat? Everybody goes crazy, Grandma and Carlotta are like "Awesome!" Lyla and Tyra laugh their adorable asses off, and Tami is shocked. Just shocked. The girls shrug at her with giant smiles, but it doesn't work: she's simply too flabbergasted to deal with the cuteness. Even Buddy is totally open about how this is the coolest thing in the world. Tami and Eric stare at each other like they're wondering if this is the apocalypse, hilariously, and the boys finally grab their shit and disappear. Tami glares daggers at the girls, but Tyra's just like, "Way to go, boys." (What's funny is how, if you hit fast forward on your brain, in ten years Tyra is Tami Taylor. Her salvation is already written. What I want to know is, will Tim live long enough to become Eric? I know what you're thinking: that's Street. But Street's already the man he's going to become, he's just growing into it. It's Tim's salvation I'm praying for.)

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Friday Night Lights

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