Friday Night Lights

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Daddy Issues

Tim stumbles out into the morning, a time of day to which he has not been previously introduced, to find his brother playing adorable grab-ass with Jackie the Neighbor Lady. They offer him breakfast, but he is feasting on sadness instead. He and Julie should form a club. Can you imagine? He's so much scarier than Tyra if you think of it that way. Billy shocks him out of his reverie and he suddenly runs back to his bedroom and starts packing a sad little backpack. Jackie is horrified by the fact that the teenage boy she fucked and then dumped for his brother-slash-father is...acting like a teenage boy who got dumped for his brother-slash-father. Not that we really blame her, because Tim has the appearance and studied cool of being old for his age, but on the other hand: it's Tim Riggins. Most of us can identify the smell of a Tim Riggins from around the age of twelve. Billy and Jackie do a lot of yelling while he is quietly getting his stuff together and running away from home at this, like, leisurely place, but mostly they're trying to apologize for the unapologizeable and explain the unexplainable. Even a rational teenager would have trouble swallowing this particular thing happening, and no adult can really find the words to explain the details of why it makes total sense, so it's just very frustrating for everybody.

If you are ever in trouble, in any way, drive directly to Tyra's house. This is like rule number one for life. And it's one that Tim understands, so off to Tyra's house he goes. And she is in fine, fine form, looking like a million bucks and staring down at his sexy self with his little knapsack, all, "What's all this you got going on here?" Just arch as hell. He's like, "This? Is my clothes." "That's nice, why are they right here?" He asks for a place to say and does the whole Riggins thing, and she makes him wait awhile before nodding, of course, and giving him 48 hours. Dude, you are not giving Tim enough credit. Tim Riggins could have revolutionaries living in your basement inside of 24 hours, and you're giving him 48? And you know he'd be standing there in the wreckage of all democracy with his shoulders hunched and his hair in his eyes looking at you like, "Can I have some beer money?" On balance, though, that's 48 chances to run into him coming out of the shower, which is a good trade. Tim Riggins is like a Mogwai only if you get him wet, you want to take off your pants.

John From Cincinnati comes slouching up to Tami Taylor in the hallway, looking smoldering and confused as usual, and asks her for the keys to the activity lounge for the Dillon Chronicle staff meeting. She's like, "Sweetie, ask your faculty advisor. Go through channels." But of course, he's totally the prenominate faculty advisor, so she wigs out adorably about how he's like twelve years old, and he calls her "ma'am," and she gets all Tami in his face. He admits that he is Noah Barnett, the new teacher for English Lit, Creative Writing, Speech, and the paper. Dude, how come on all shows, those English-Speech hyphenates are wildly sexy gentlemen? In real life they're either A) the gay organ player at the church who also teaches Latin and is a virgin with lots of cats, or more likely, B) Emma Thompson in the Harry Potter movies whose head is a Pure Moods jukebox 24/7. The two people most likely to make you believe in yourself beyond all reason and make you into the literary equivalent of delusional dipshit Smash Williams, not that I know from experience. Either way, I see a controversial literary magazine in Dillon's future.

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Friday Night Lights

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