Friday Night Lights
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 33 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
I'm Too Busy Crying to Come Up With A Clever Title

Mack Brown keeps cutting Taylor up with his buzz-saw of a voice, letting him know that he's driven by the school a few times and been concerned to see the lights off. Then back to Tim getting propositioned: "You ever blitzed an older woman? You could you know."

Louie Louie synths up in the background as Tyra walks up to Street and wonders if being with Lyla is like drinking milk all day every day. She suggests that maybe he try a milkshake once in a while.

Back at the Mack Brown Piece Dye Company, the man will not let Taylor get a word in edgewise, asking him what he's going to do the night before the game, and then before Taylor can open his mouth, drawling and clanging "You don't know what yer gonna do, you never been head coach before, you don't know do ya?"

A photographer starts taking shots of Tyra and Street just as Lyla walks in. He asks Street if Tyra is his new girlfriend -- nice detail, in a world where the photographer for the local paper needs to know who the girlfriends of major football players are -- and Street manages to disentangle himself from Tyra and run up to Schmoopy to apologize. Here follows some more Schmoopy lip-pouting and chin-tucking nonsense from Lyla as Street fast-talks his way through an apology. As if he even needs to bother. Like she'd ever break up with him for anything short of a massive football career-ending injury. Ooops. Spoiler! Street does a terrible Bill Clinton impression, "Hilary, I did not have sexual relations with that woman," which is so quaint of a scandal for those Texans to still even remember.

Tyra approaches Smash, looking rather lost. She sweetly says hi and then tells him she's bored. He gives her a big smile and earnestly says he's on top of the world, picking diamonds from clouds. He asks if he can pick one for her. Now here is some buttercream frosting dialogue that works (unlike that between Street and Lyla), these two shining through their respective personas in order to make an unlikely connection. Riggins isn't too happy, though, as he hulks up (hopefully after going to the bathroom and scrubbing the creepy-old-lady residue off) and tells Smash to get away from Tyra. She asks them to stop, but they keep at it, Smash asking Rig to "bring it," Riggins telling Smash he's just a mouth.

The Kingsmen amps up in the background as we cut back to Mack Brown buzz-sawing his way through Coach Taylor's dreams. The shots are incredibly tightly framed, as Brown asks Taylor if he can bring championships home, and Taylor just sort of grimaces and furrows in reaction. Just as you want to run screaming away from the television, so trapped do you feel, The Kingsmen wail "Let's go!" and we cut to black.

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Friday Night Lights

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