Friday Night Lights
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: B | 33 USERS: A
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I'm Too Busy Crying to Come Up With A Clever Title

Nighttime. The camera drives by a balloon-festooned car dealership as we ready for another tour de force extended scene. Inside, Mayor Lucy Rodell starts the night off with a few remarks. She's a tough, tiny woman in a glitzy suit with shellacked grey hair. Very Ann Richards (pourin' some out for my bitch right now). Under hundreds of blue and gold balloons and in front of an enormous "Panther Pride" banner, Lady Mayor welcomes them all and then offers a special welcome to Coach Taylor and the Dillon Panthers. They come up on stage, and Coach Taylor says the same words that a hundred coaches before him have probably said, about honor and duty, while the boys on stage look like deer in headlights, and the girls (Lyla, Julie, Tyra) in the audience look by turns enamored, pensive, and enragingly bored. He promises the crowd that the team is "fully prepared to represent this community this Friday night. And every Friday night. Until we bring home the state championship." Big cheers and applause; cut to Julie telling her mom, "Let's see where that love is if he loses a game."

African-American Sonic Forcefield is in effect as Smash takes the microphone to do a little school spirit rapping. The soundtrack provides beats that most assuredly are not present inside the car dealership, but anyway. Smash raps about how "Panthers gonna get diabolical. Hold up, hold up. Like Tom Cruise gets Scientological." Awesome. The crowd loves it, and Smash loves being the center of attention. The camera editorializes a bit by panning across to a super clean-cut white guy leaning in to whisper something to the guy next to him. What about, nobody knows, but for the attentive viewer, it's a nice suggestion about some of the darker forces behind a group of whites cheering on the antics of a black person.

Julie and Tami stand together as two big-haired Texas ladies walk up to say "hi." All of the actresses just nail this next interaction. Going back and forth about three times apiece, each woman says, in a deep drawl, "Ooooh, how are yooouuu?" "How are yooooou?" "Oh, now how arrre yoooouuu?" I love it. The ladies have come over to bully Tami into coming to their book club, no doubt because if Tami comes to their book club, they can brag to their other lady friends that the coach's wife came to their book club. Now what in the hell book do you think this book club is tackling this week? I'm thinking probably not Moby-Dick. As they leave, victorious over the initially hesitant Tami, one glances at Julie and declares her "the cutest thing I've ever seen." Julie plasters a smile across her face and flirtily shrugs her shoulder. As the ladies leave, she says through her teeth that it's going to be so awful, and her mother -- likewise with the fake smile on her face -- brightly asks her to "stop that."

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Friday Night Lights

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