Friday Night Lights

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Drunken Bee: B | Grade It Now!
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Open Relationships

Tim and Ferret Guy are in a blind, hunting. Ferret Guy is going on and on, loudly, about how people are hypocrites for not killing their own meat more often. They drink and discuss how it doesn't get any better than this. ["You're right, Drunken Bee, they should be drinking Old Milwaukee!" -- Joe R] Ferret Guy shouts loud enough for the deer in the next county to hear, that "this is one-on-one, man versus nature." And then he tosses his beer bottle onto the ground. Okay, maybe a little broad, but I'm still amused enough. Ferret Guy blows a duck call and then grabs a pair of binoculars and takes a swig. From the binoculars, which is a flask. Then he starts clanging together some antlers and Taylor Kitsch just starts laughing. It seems like it was a fun scene to shoot, if not completely in line, tonally, with the show.

Smash is brought to a sleek club and sat right down in a VIP section in the middle of some lovely ladies. I can almost hear the mariachi music coming from inside his pants.

At the Saracen household, Matt's got his pants on mute as he watches Car-low-ta do Grandma's hair. Grandma goes on about wanting to look like Angie Dickinson when the phone rings. It's Smash, and he's calling Matt to taunt him with ass from afar. Matt hangs up and goes back to being taunted by the ass right in front of his face.

Landry walks into -- get this-- the Alamo Freeze to meet with Brother Rapist from the Order of Plot Contrivances. What a great choice, to meet with your brother's assault victim inside a similar establishment as where he perpetrated the assault. God. Landry explains that Tyra decided against coming and then they get on with the making Landry feel guilty. Landry goes on about how irredeemable Dead Guy was, but his brother interrupts his fantasy of consequence-less murder by mentioning the drunk mom backstory, wah, wah, wah.

Coach whines about what good Tami's sister is if she isn't available to babysit the baby while Tami gets ready for bunco night. He doesn't feel like babysitting that night. Tami points out that it isn't babysitting when it's your own child. Coach follows her around the house, peckishly asking why she's putting perfume on for bunco night. She says it's to mask the smell of spit-up, but we all know it's to mask the smell of Mr. Kowalski's coffee breath. She rushes out the door, leaving Coach looking confused about how to go on living without her to tell him how.

Tim and Ferret Guy cruise around in his truck, keepin' on keepin' on. Ferret Guy expounds on how Roadhouse is the best action movie of the eighties, maybe the best movie of all time. He sets Tim up nicely, saying that the movie has all the key ingredients. Tim fills in the blanks, "town in need, man searching for his soul" and Ferret Guy takes over like a regular Mo Rocca, "hot sex, fisticuffs." Now Tim: "Two words..." and then Ferret Guy: "Patrick..." and Tim: "...Swayze." Okay, maybe this rapport is too clever by half, but they get Best Week Ever in Dillon, right? They pull up in front of a store, and Ferret Guy instructs Tim to go in and get a bunch of cold medicine for him. Tim asks blankly what he needs with cold medicine at midnight, and now I'm questioning my assertion about Dillon's access to basic cable programming because HELLO!! Cold medicine? RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Meth epidemic! True Life Story!

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Friday Night Lights

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