Friday Night Lights
Wind Sprints

Episode Report Card
Drunken Bee: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
When The Hurlyburly's Done

Uninspiring credits. At the Shabby Swinging '70s Riggins Bachelor Ranch, Billy hits "golf" (really, ping pong) balls while laying into Riggs. He tells his brother that none of this football stuff is rocket science; all he has to do is "beat the living crap out of the other guys, then go get yourself some tail." Riggs reaches back to grab a beer off the console behind the couch. It appears there is a bong on that console next to the beer, but don't quote me on it because NBC is doing some annoying flashing advertisement on the bottom of the screen that blocks it. Oh, and also because I wouldn't know what a bong looked like if I did see one (hi, mom!). Riggs is watchin' fishin' on the TV. I wonder if he ever feels conflicted when he wakes up. Like, "What should I do today? Work on my blush application? Or adjust my balls and watch BassMasters?"

A knock at the door. Billy must be telepathic (in addition to being an even worse guardian than Bessie Potter), because before he even glances out the window he says, "Speaking of pieces of tail..." and then after he peeks out the window, "Lyla Garrity." Riggs sits up anxiously and draws his hand across his neck in the universal symbol for "Not now, I don't have my 'face' on." Billy opens the door and exaggeratedly tells Lyla that Tim is not home. Tim sinks into the couch behind Billy. Lyla knows what's up, so she tells Billy to tell Tim that she's going to the hospital. She turns up the volume, making sure Tim can hear her from the couch, going on about how Jason has been asking for him, and reminding him that she goes to the hospital every day, and he can come whenever he wants.

Outside Matt Saracen's house, Matt kneels in front of his team sign, upon which "LOSER" has been scrawled in spray paint. Matt's trying to wash the spray-painted insult away, while Landry is pacing around, jabbering on about "theories." Matt tiredly asks his friend to help, because he doesn't want his grandmother to see the sign that way. But Landry keeps on, wondering aloud why Dillon lost to South Milbank last night when they hadn't lost to them in twenty years. Landry quickly assures Matt that the reason they lost wasn't because of him and says he thinks it's the supernatural, maybe an old lady witch. Matt looks at Landry and says, "You're retarded." Matt reminds Landry that half the time his grandmother can't even remember how to work the telephone. Grandma comes out the front door -- looking a bit more put together than usual in jeans and a flannel shirt -- and tells Matt to go out back to "water the children." Matt asks, "You mean the flowers?" and she's like, yeah that's what I said, moron. As she goes back inside, a beat up old Nissan accelerates past Matt's house, and a bunch of jabronis scream "Loser!" at Matt. Jabronis.

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Friday Night Lights

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