Game of Thrones

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B+ | 65 USERS: A
Step One: Cut a Hole in a Box
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Last episode of the season. Opening credits. Let's go! The credits contain the same places as last week: King's Landing, Dragonstone, the Twins, Winterfell, the Wall, and Yunkai. I'm kind of surprised we're staying at the Twins for another week, since it's not like Robb and Catelyn are going to be contributing much action.

But in fact, we start at the Twins, so what do I know? Roose Bolton climbs some steps and looks over the parapets at the Stark troops outside his castle. All the tents are on fire and the troops are generally being slaughtered. One guy is missing his legs, and I assume he answered that casting call for amputees that went up after the last season ended. Oh, and somebody's being strung up to a tree. It's a real mess. Sandor Clegane has a horse, so he grabs a Frey banner for cover and starts to ride away through the mayhem. He's carrying Arya, who's conveniently unconscious. But she regains consciousness just in time to hear the Freys chanting "The king in the north!" And they're carrying Robb's decapitated body with an animal head mounted on it. Another angle reveals that the head is from his wolf. Arya seems unhappy about all this, but she doesn't struggle as Sandor carries her away. As they leave the camp, a Stark banner catches fire. That's not exactly foreshadowing, since it happened after Robb died. It's just redundant.

In King's Landing, Tyrion walks Sansa through a garden. It's all very picturesque, except that people are laughing at them behind their backs. And they're doing it loudly enough to be heard, which is terrible manners. Tyrion starts muttering a list of names, which he says is the list of people who he's going to get back at. Tyrion and Arya would probably get along pretty well! He clarifies to Sansa that he's not going to necessarily kill all these people. She thinks he should just get used to being laughed at, but it's been happening all his life. Sansa points out that she's the disgraced daughter of a traitorous usurper, so she's probably having to absorb a lot of public disdain as well. He makes her laugh and Shae glowers at him from behind. Shae is not onboard with this marriage. Tyrion says that instead of killing someone, he could learn his perversions from Varys. Sansa suggests burying sheep dung in his bed, because Arya used to do that to her. Arya's well past the poop-hiding stage of revenge. She's a lot more mature than her sister in that respect, and now I keep thinking of Arya and Sansa as Louise and Tina from Bob's Burgers. Arya and Louise share a certain malevolence, you know? Anyway, that's enough for this scene, because Pod runs up to call Tyrion to a surprise meeting of the Small Council.

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Game of Thrones




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