Game of Thrones
What Is Dead May Never Die

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | 5 USERS: A
Who's That Giant Lady?

Just then! A horn sounds. Something's happening! Yoren shouts at the recruits: "Get up you lazy sons of whores! Arm yourselves!" He tells Gendry and Arya to run north if things go bad. Then he returns to shouting hilarious things at the recruits: "There's men out there who want to fuck your corpses!" Blondie finds Gendry's bull helmet, which was left behind in the panic.

Outside, there are lots of Gold Cloaks. And lots of fighting. People are running back and forth and there are things on fire. The guys in the cage would like to get out. Yoren stomps out to find out what's going on. The leader of the soldiers is Ser Amory Lorch, a bannerman of Tywin Lannister. He tells Yoren, "In the name of King Joffrey, drop your weapons." I like that he had to clarify which king he was there for. Well, he didn't really have to, but Yoren pretended not to know. Yoren spits on the ground and says, "I don't think I will."

Then Yoren gets shot in the belly by a guy holding a crossbow. Oops! But Yoren isn't dead yet, because he's got a few more awesome things to say, including, "I always hated crossbows. Take too long to load!" So he kills the crossbowman (who is, in fact, desperately trying to reload) and a couple more before he gets stuck on a spear. Lorch finishes him off. Sorry, Yoren. You were fun!

Arya and Gendry run past the cage, which is on fire. The cage guys call her "Sweet boy" and say, "A man can fight! Save us!" They make a pretty good argument. She tosses an axe into the cage and gets out of there. That's a good plan. You don't want to stand around hacking open the flaming cage full of probably-rapers while there's an assault going on around you. Just give them the axe and let them figure it out for themselves.

Arya is stopped by a bald gentleman who takes Needle from her. Also, he's no gentleman. Hot Pie is also grabbed, and he yields immediately. And repeatedly. He wants it clearly understood that he does not intend to put up a fight. Lorch announces that the survivors are to be rounded up and brought back to Harrenhal. That place is cursed! And Blondie took an arrow in the knee, so I guess he's no longer an adventurer. He tells the soldiers he can't walk, so he'll have to be carried. Instead, he gets Needle through the throat. The bald guy laughs, "Carry him, he says!" Really. Who thought that would work? Sorry, Blondie.

Lorch announces, "We're looking for a bastard named Gendry. Give him up or we start taking eyeballs." Pause. The recruits glance at each other. Finally, it occurs to Arya to claim that Blondie was Gendry. It helps that the bull helmet is on the grass next to his corpse. Good job, Blondie. It required your death, but you were finally useful for something.

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Game of Thrones




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