Gilmore Girls
A Tale Of Poes And Fire

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Tell-Tale Episode

Meeting ends, and Jess asks Luke what he's doing there. Luke pinches Jess's cheek and tells him he's proud of him. Jess tells him to stop. Luke says he's getting emotional. He suggests Jess hang his plaque over his bed with a little spotlight. Jess says he has to go, and says the only reason he came was for the money. Jess goes back to work. The manager walks up to Luke and actually says, "Hey. Saw you jawboning with our boy there." Come on, y'all. The manager says he wishes he had a dozen more Jesses. He works like a dog and takes up extra shifts when someone calls in sick. He says that Jess sometimes pulls forty-five-hour weeks without a complaint. Luke says that the manager must be mistaken, because Jess couldn't possibly work a forty-five-hour week when he's in school full-time and also working at the diner. Not to mention the girlfriend that he's supposed to be spending time with. Luke and the manager just blow it off, saying that the manager might just be mistaken. The manager hands Luke the Employee of the Month piece of paper with Jess's Polaroid glued to it. Wow. Spare no expense, Wal-Mart. Jessica leans over and hisses, "Every time they say the word 'Wal-Mart,' you just know that 'Wal-Mart' paid for that to happen. Oh, this is infuriating! You put that in your recap!" The manager walks away, and Luke stares off into space. My attention turns to the two young ladies lollygagging in the back, talking to each other like they're in Chilton. Hey, ladies! Get back to work! Go sell a gun or something!

That night at Miss Patty's, the Edgar Allen Poe Society is sponsoring some Readings of Poe. I thought that Miss Patty was doing the reading, but once we see inside, it's clear that a short man is reciting "The Raven" towards a stuffed bird in a spotlight on a podium. The crowd here? Much less culturally diverse. But Babette's there, and CuteDean. So are Lorelai and Rory, who immediately begin their tradition of talking right through anything a group of people has gathered to watch in silence. Lorelai's pouting that Poe's words are morose and slow-moving. Rory reminds Lorelai that Poe was a troubled man, who did a bit too much drinky-drinky. Well, she makes a "hmm-humm" noise while pointing at her face, prompting Lorelai to ask, "Mime?" Lorelai then remembers to add a Pro to Yale: best drama school. Bar none, she says. I hear actors around the nation scoff and moan at the audacity. Rory reminds Lorelai that she won't be a drama major. Lorelai says that Rory will have the best drama performances to attend, and she'll get to see the next Meryl Streep when she's goofy and eighteen. "And doing crap like: 'Hey, name an occupation! Plumber! Name a farm tool now. Tractor! Hey, I'm a tractor doing…plumbing!'" Hee. Rory asks if that's what they do at the Yale Drama School. "So I've heard," Lorelai says. Well, you aren't too far off. Please don't make me tell the story of the week I had to pretend to be a veil, stick, ball, or chair. And then later I used those skills to ask a large crowd, "Hey, name an object. Dildo? Okay, this is the World's Worst Dildo, coming up!" Lorelai points out the second Poe sitting in the audience. Lorelai and Rory come up with several different Poe stories about the existence of two Poes. More chatting. Lorelai points out CuteDean, who can hear them because he's sitting right in front of them, so he turns around to look. Then Lorelai and Rory talk about CuteDean's new girlfriend Lindsay, who's also sitting right in front of them. CuteDean waves, but Lindsay gives a stink-eye that would make Louisa proud. "I think she's ready to go to the ghetto on you," Lorelai says. Rory says she doesn't have a problem with Lindsay, getting all defensive, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Once again we hear the story about how nine-year-old Lindsay bought Rory a magnet on a field trip. Lorelai says that Lindsay should just "mellow" since both CuteDean and Rory have moved on. The Poe keeps trying to recite "The Raven." Lorelai complains that the poem is so long. Rory says it could use some editing. Lorelai tells Rory to put the drama school on the Yale Pro list. Rory says she doesn't have a pen.

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Gilmore Girls

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