Gilmore Girls
A Tale Of Poes And Fire

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | 3 USERS: A+
The Tell-Tale Episode

The X-Men 2 trailers are so good that I want to see the movie, and I never even saw the first one. I don't even know who these people are, other than the sketch comedy skit I did with my troupe five years ago where they were all in group therapy to get over their anger issues. Sometimes I tell you guys things that not only did you not really need to know, there's no way in hell that any of you would have cared. You're going to break up with me, aren't you? I can tell your eye's starting to wander.

As Rory and Lorelai leave Miss Patty's, Rory comments that the readings were pretty good. Lorelai tells Rory she can't do that thing where you complain about something, but then you decide you like it once you've left because you can't separate the enjoyment you felt from the relief you feel once it's over. The first Poe walks up and tells Rory that he went to West Point, but was court-martialed in 1832 and had to leave. The second Poe interrupts here to correct the first Poe, saying that he was expelled in 1831. The Poes bicker about whether or not it was an election year where Jackson was expected to serve five more years or not. The first Poe says it was the same year his brother passed away. The second Poe drops the act and says, "Okay, that's not right either, Fred." Poe One still keeps up with the charade, saying he doesn't know who this Fred person is. The second Poe rips off his wig and spits, "Oh, knock it off! I'm tired." He walks away. Poe One excuses himself as Lorelai informs Rory that Poes are very testy people. Kirk's selling t-shirts outside the studio. Yesterday's Babette shirt is now at an eighty percent discount. Today's shirt? "faux poes foes." Kirk complains that the new shirts aren't selling any better than the old ones. "Keep the dream, Kirk," Lorelai says.

CuteDean and Lindsay walk up. Rory introduces Lindsay to Lorelai. Well, this is awkward. Why would CuteDean force Lindsay to meet Rory and Lorelai? Lorelai calls Lindsay the "Mark Twain Magnet-Head Girl." And then, because it isn't awkward enough, Lorelai forces Rory to retell the story about how Lindsay once bought a magnet for Rory back when they were both children. Lindsay, of course, doesn't remember the story, and doesn't really have fond memories of the occasion. Her face reads, "Well, if I did that, you still owe me five bucks for that magnet." CuteDean congratulates Rory on getting into Harvard. Rory's all, "Oh, yeah. Thanks." He boasts that he got into Southern Connecticut State. You know what that means? More CuteDean next season! Huzzah! Rory and Lorelai congratulate CuteDean on a job well done. "You're…you're…wow!" Rory says. Lindsay says she has to get home, and CuteDean says he has to take her, so they leave. Lorelai asks Rory why Lindsay isn't nice anymore. How hard is that to figure out, ladies? I know you think Stars Hollow is just an anagram of "Lorelai and Rory Rule," but not everyone's a fan. Luke is somehow suddenly solo. I don't know where Nicole ran off to, but Lorelai wants to talk to him. Probably because he's not wearing his baseball cap and his new haircut is quite sexy. Rory tells Lorelai to try to make it home in time for Charlie Rose, because Billy Joel is on "and he might cry or something." Lorelai turns and immediately Luke is there, walking her home. Wouldn't they be walking one foot behind Rory? Lorelai asks how Jess's ceremony went. Luke says it was okay. He mentions how the manager said that Jess was working forty to forty-five hours a week. Lorelai scoffs that it's impossible for Jess to work so many hours. Luke says that Jess might be pulling double shifts on the weekends. "No, he's pretty much doing it with Rory on the weekends," Lorelai says. Ew. And…wait. What? Did we just skip over Rory losing her virginity? Because I think we should sue. Then, to give Jess the out for his own spin-off, he says, "Because he knows the rules. He's got to graduate to stay living with me." Luke kind of asks Lorelai to back off the topic. Once again Luke shrugs it off and Lorelai kind of giggles and then Luke gives her a shoulder pat good night.

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Gilmore Girls




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