Gilmore Girls
Farewell, My Pet

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: A | Grade It Now!
Goodbye, My Albatross
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The whole Gilmore clan is doing laps around the ICU nurses' station as Richard takes his daily exercise. "You're lookin' good, Dad," says Lorelai. "If I had to guess, I think you're clocking it at about a forty-five-minute mile, which puts you just behind Mrs. Abalone." As usual, Emily can't stand it when Lorelai says anything even mildly amusing, and gives her the patented "Lorelai. Really." Richard, however, thinks it's a fair assessment, seeing as how Mrs. Abalone had her bypass a whole two days before his. To prove his growing strength, he straightens his shoulders and pushes forward. "How's this?" he asks, and Lorelai and Rory burst into wild crowd noises, declaring him the new slow-walk champ, much to Emily's chagrin: "Would you two stop? You're making a scene!" Richard, however, is game for hijinx. "Mr. Gilmore," says Lorelai, mock-interviewing him, "any opinions about the allegations of steroid use among your fellow athletes?" Richard: "Well, I consider myself proof positive that it can be done, and done clean." Emily rolls her eyes again (a condition she might want to ask Richard's doctor about while they're at the hospital) and goes on talking about all the beautiful flower arrangements that have been sent to the house. She is, she says, tired of white roses -- they are not in mourning, after all -- and finds colorful arrangements like the one Christopher sent to be much more inspiring. First of all: huh? I hate this show, sometimes. Does Emily like Christopher, or not? She so pointedly gave Lorelai the raised "got your back" eyebrow last week when she picked up the Christopher Sucks vibe, and now she's all braggy about the flowers he sent? Secondly: whatever. Why would it not strike anyone as weird that Christopher would be sending Richard a flower arrangement to the house, like a family acquaintance? He is, in fact, a family member -- an in-town family member -- and it would be far more normal for him to be AT the hospital at least once a day. And if the flower arrangement is supposed to symbolize Chris's emotional distance from the family, why is Emily touting it like he did something impressive? In conclusion: hate. Lorelai changes the subject anyway, gossiping about another patient, the elderly Mrs. Santiago, who has been having a young male visitor that Lorelai has just learned is not Santiago Jr., but the old woman's boyfriend. Everyone gasps in horror as she reveals her inside info from the night nurse: the guy is thirty-two years younger than Mrs. S. "What on Earth could they have to talk about?" Emily wonders. Lorelai hams it up, nudging Rory: "I don't think they're doing a whole lot of talking, if you know what I mean." Emily demurs: "I most certainly do not know what you mean." They're all cruising along so circularly and blabbing so non-stop, it reminds me vividly of this MAD TV spoof I recently saw. Its utter meanness and total stupidity notwithstanding, we must admit that some of it is spot on.

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Gilmore Girls




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