Gilmore Girls
French Twist

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: C+ | 3 USERS: C-
Isn't It Romantic?

Zach is waiting on his order at the diner and asks Lane, who is working, whether she's had a chance to check on it. "I asked Luke where it was and Luke said, 'From now on, if Zach wants to eat here, he has to stand on his head in the middle of the diner and eat out of a rusty bucket,'" she snaps. "So I said, 'Cool!'" Heeee. Zach swears that he couldn't help saying what he did to her mom; he was just so happy that she wasn't mad about the pregnancies that "cool" just came out like a happy vocal burp. "Next time," Lane snits, "cover your mouth! Jeez!" She stomps away, only to be delayed by Kirk, who stops her to feel her stomach for a kick. "You're gonna feel a kick if you don't get your hand off my stomach," she informs him. Obviously not sensing her hormonal rage, Kirk recommends that she give birth in the same hospital in which he was born, which allows newborns to stay with their mothers right after birth for as long as the mother wants: "It explains a lot about the relationship between me and my mother." Lane: "Yyyesss, it does."

Luke walks up, shoos Kirk away, and grabs Lane's orders from her, insisting that she take it easy and not carry heavy stuff. He is very sweet to her, and tells her to call Liz if she has any worries about anything, Liz being a veteran of pregnancy and childbirth. "You two are gonna be great," he says happily, of Lane and Zach. "You'll be great parents." Something occurs to Lane as she carries Zach's food over to him: "Zach, we're gonna be parents." She says that parents don't get told what to do; parents do the telling. "That's right," says Zach, feeling suddenly confident. "Besides, if we say no, what's the worst your mother could do?" Lane's face goes blank, and she rushes away without answering. "S--s--seriously, babe?" Zach calls after her. "What's the worst she could do?" Korean voodoo time!

Ah, the glittering romance of Paris. I'm really sorry for all you Christopher-haters out there that I have to tell you now that not only did he and Lorelai just have the crazy wild sex, and not only are they now nudely relaxing up in their fancy French bed, and not ONLY are they sighing contentedly about it, they go on to like, recap the whole thing and how great it was and how they can barely move or talk or breathe or whatever. "I could just live in this room forever," Chris mumbles, and Lorelai agrees that they should. But of course, they're still hungry. "Look at that view," Lorelai says, seeing Paris through the window. "It's so beautiful, I could eat it." Chris has a brainwave. He tells her he can totally fix their food crisis. "Let's shower!" he says, promising that he will take care of everything. Uh, you're going to take care of it from the shower? And, are you trying to kill me with the joint shower, or what? Is it not enough that they just had the crazy sex? ALSO, correct me if I'm wrong (which is just an expression; don't correct me), but shouldn't it at least be almost 6 in the morning by now? Places will soon be open for breakfast. Even if it's still in the 5 o'clock hour, which would mean that all this bedromping didn't take much time at all, nudge nudge, couldn't these fools take separate showers, get ready, and then, I don't know, watch TV for the ten minutes left before food became available? My suspension of disbelief cannot take these bends in the space-time continuum.

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Gilmore Girls




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