Gilmore Girls
Introducing Lorelai Planetarium

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The Planetarium Story

Christopher and Lorelai are blessedly interrupted by Rory, who calls to welcome them home. Lorelai says she's been trying to reach her. "I know," Rory says. "Since 5 AM." Lorelai says that's noon Parisian-time. "Well," Rory yawns, "then you should call your Parisian daughter, because your American one was asleep." Cute. Lorelai sort of cringes looking at Christopher, and tells Rory it is imperative that she come home for dinner that night. Rory attempts to beg off, saying she has a study group for a difficult test. Desperately, Lorelai invents a story about them planning a dinner of French snails they brought back from Paris and must cook that night. Ridiculous, for many reasons, not the least of which is that Lorelai, who won't even eat squash soup, would never eat a snail and Rory knows it. I'm sure there are also other reasons, like...I don't know, bringing mollusks through Customs in a post-9/11 world, or something, yada yada, I look forward to your emails, which I can hear you typing now. How dare I suggest that snails are mollusks? Or that they aren't? Or that they won't fly on planes? Snails love planes! I know. I apologize in advance for whatever it is I'm saying.

Lorelai hangs up and puts her head in her hands. "'Snails'?" Chris chuckles. "Well, at least we have a plan now. We'll sit her down in the kitchen, feed her snails, and tell her we got married." Lorelai groans. She had to tell Rory something, she says, and looks worried about breaking this big news at all. Maybe she should talk to Rory by herself, she suggests, but Christopher brushes this off: "We agreed that we'd tell her together. She's gonna be happy. Her parents just got married. It's the dream.'" Wait. Wouldn't the dream be that your parents got married in the first place, before you came along? ["Eh, depends on the parents." -- Wing Chun] And that they stayed married? ["In some people's cases: absolutely not." -- Wing Chun] And that you weren't raised by your mom warring non-stop with your dysfunctional grandparents like a twenty-year-long quirky episode of Dynasty while your absentee daddy rode around on his motorcycle, getting his hair highlighted and ignoring you? ["That, I will give you -- except sometimes ignoring you is preferable to being all up in your grill. Or so I've heard from a friend of mine whose absentee biological father suuucks." -- Wing Chun] "Now we have to get snails," says Lorelai, looking more worried than ever, and she and Chris go off in search of some.

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Gilmore Girls




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