Gilmore Girls
Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found The Gnostic Gospels

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 2 USERS: A
Luke Gets Drunk

I was going to comment in last week's recap that there seem to be way more cars in Stars Hollow than ever before. And now here's Luke in a traffic jam on the main street. The normally sunny Stars Hollowers are now honking, grumbling, fist-shaking fusspots. Luke parks in the one parking spot there is and heads to the front of the traffic line to see what all the fuss is about. The fuss is Jess, of course, because his car has broken down and he's having a few guys push it down the street. Kirk is in front of the car on his annoying Nextel walkie-talkie phone, working on setting up decorations for the Firelight Festival, arguing with the person on the other end of the walkie-talkie when one says "Roger" -- whether you say it when you're done talking or when you're done listening. Kirk wants to be the one to say "Roger," even when he's not supposed to. Jess threatens to run Kirk over with his crap car if Kirk doesn't get out of the way. Kirk knows that's the right time to say "Roger." I still think Jess should give this car to Rory, even though she has a much nicer one of her own now. Luke runs up to the car and asks Jess why a marching band isn't behind him. Jess tells him to go away. Jess says he has to get his car to Gypsy's so that she can fix it and he can leave. In a move that goes completely against the last scene, Luke offers to pay for a tow truck to move Jess's car about one full block in order to end this "embarrassing" traffic jam. Gypsy is waiting fifty yards away for the car. Even Kirk offers to toss in some money to, what? Stop the car in the middle of the street there and wait for the tow truck to come, hitch up the car, and pull it the rest of the way? Not only is pushing the car cheaper, it's probably the fastest way to end this situation. Sorry. I don't know why I started this pointless diatribe. Plot device. Need to see how Luke wants to help even when people don't want to be helped. Got it. Digested. Moving on.

Gypsy checks Jess's car. She tells him he needs a new carburetor. Huh. That's the first time I've ever typed that word. Jess says he absolutely has to have the car fixed today so that he can leave this "half-mile, four-block, freakhole medical experiment." Gypsy looks at Jess and tells him, "You are delightful." Gypsy says she'll have him out of there that night, and that he should come back at closing. She tells him to bring a lot of money because she's going to overcharge him like he's never been overcharged before. Jess turns around to see the back of a girl with long hair and brown pants talking to a boy. Jess stares. Gypsy tells him it's "not her." Jess pretends not to know whom she's referring to. "She cut her hair," Gypsy tells him. Because that's what women do when men leave. They cut off all their hair. Jess tells Gypsy he doesn't know what she's talking about. Gypsy: "Okay. My mistake." Jess turns to see the Rory impostor walking away with the Luke impostor. Just what Stars Hollow needs: Rory wannabes. No teen boy will ever get laid again in that town.

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Gilmore Girls




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