Gilmore Girls
Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found The Gnostic Gospels

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 2 USERS: A
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Luke Gets Drunk

Rory continues on her day, headed to the bookstore. She passes Kirk, who's getting teased by a group of guys who have stolen his walkie-talkie and are now playing Kirk in the Middle with it.

Rory hands Andrew a slip of paper -- a list of out-of-print books -- and asks him to track down everything on it. She turns to the shelves and sees Jess, pouting on the floor, reading the most appropriate Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them. Rory and Jess stare at each other for a second. Jess flings his book down and stomps out of the store. Rory sighs.

Lorelai comes home to find another person in her house. Again, she seems not to be nervous or upset by this fact. It's Luke, and he's cut his hand on the broken window. He's bleeding all over his shirt. We soon discover that Luke is drunk. He crawled into the house through Lorelai's second-floor bedroom window. He fell out of the tree once, landing flat on his back: "I felt like Kirk." I would think Luke would have a spare key to the house. Lorelai goes to get a Band-Aid. She says he might have broken his neck. Luke says that would have been fine if he had, because he just would have fixed it, since that's what he does -- he fixes things even when they don't want to be fixed. Lorelai is all squeamish around the blood, and bats at his hand with a wet washcloth. "That's my wrist," says creepy Luke through a snarl. Then he makes a hissing noise and says, "You're very good at this." Lorelai tries her best and puts a Band-Aid on Luke's cut. Luke goes to fix the window, saying he made a promise and he's reliable and helps people whether they like it or not: "It is my big problem." As Luke goes on about how he just learned this is his big problem, he delivers the funniest line in this episode as he stops only momentarily to note, "Got a handful of Barbie." Luke says that he found out today that he's a big, judgmental know-it-all who goes around whining and complaining and screwing up everybody else's life. Hey, I thought that was my thing! ["No, you just kill wonder. That's different." -- Wing Chun] Luke says that Jess is smart for only taking care of himself. He tells Lorelai that Jess informed him that Luke is an unwelcome burden to everyone around him. Lorelai tells Luke that that's not true. Luke laughs and says it is. Lorelai tells Luke how Liz was just saying how grateful she is to have him in her life and how much she looks up to him: "She worships you." She tells Luke how Liz is thinking about moving to Stars Hollow to be closer to him. She says that Jess is an angry kid who doesn't always mean what he says. Lorelai puts Luke on the couch and offers to go buy Luke a more suitable Band-Aid so that the other kids don't beat him up. "I'll be right back," Lorelai says.

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Gilmore Girls

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