Gilmore Girls
Run Away, Little Boy

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Philllipppe, CuteDean, Troilus, Cressida

We're at the business class for the first time, but it's the break room outside of the business class. Some guy in a brown blazer teases Lorelai for taking the last burrito from the vending machine once again. He asks how she does it every single week. Lorelai brags that her secret is having correct change and not futzing around with dollar bills. They sit at a table together as Business School Guy says he's got a theory about vending machines. He points out that when they were kids, they got their nourishment from their mothers (Lorelai gets appropriately grossed out at this point), and now they get their food from machines. It's just setting them up to be raised by robots and to be comfortable with no human contact whatsoever. He admits that he was watching the Twilight Zone marathon this week. Lorelai says that all of this was just his way of saying he'd like to look at her notes on the reading. He agrees that it is, even if we don't follow the logic that quickly. Business School Guy says he feels bad for copying her notes every week. He should feel bad about that blond scrubby fur stuff he's got around the underside of his face. Look, guys? It's not called a beard if it doesn't round the chin. Neck hair is neck hair, and you can't call it a beard if it doesn't reach your face. BSG asks if he can make it up to Lorelai for ganking her notes by taking her out to dinner some time. Lorelai is shocked that someone is asking her out on a date, and says she doesn't know if she could go out on a date. She stammers that her schedule is crazy for the next couple of weeks. This guy is such a bad actor, y'all. He says that he understands, but if she has an opening in the next few days to give him a call. Then he hands her his card. Is that because he's Business School Guy? Lorelai thanks him and tells him to enjoy the notes. He tells her to enjoy the burrito. Oh, she will, BSG. Just give her time.

Chilton. "Hey," says Fraulein. "Hey," says Rory. "We're the Monkees," finishes Louisa. Rory asks where Paris is. She's getting some things from her car. Rory introduces herself to the boy at the table. His name is Brad, and he's from the third period class. Louisa isn't too happy that Brad's their only boy in their group, as Brad is not exactly a hunk. Paris storms in with a box of props and announces that they'll be doing their scene in Elizabethan dress. Rory starts to object, and Paris says the point of this scene is to get an "A", not to turn Romeo and Juliet into a Vegas lounge act. Paris asks Brad who he is (his name has all the letters in Bard, don't you know), and he shifts his eyes repeatedly as he explains he's from third period. Paris lays out her directing rules, and I wish I were able to use the same ones when I'm directing real actors. Paris says they're short on boys, so Brad will be Romeo and Louisa will be Friar Tuck. Yay! Philllipppe saunters in at this point and sits down. He explains that he missed the day groups were assigned, so he got to pick which one he's in. This is the only group that doesn't have any of his ex-girlfriends in it. Just all of his potential exes. Paris asks why they're being punished for their good taste. Louisa says they need him. She says he can be Romeo. Rory says that Brad is Romeo. "Put in your other contact, Grandma," Louisa says. "Tristan is Romeo." Fraulein tells Paris that Philllipppe was born to be Romeo. She then goes back to her Jane magazine product placement. Louisa tells Paris that she's letting her personal feelings stand in the way of fifty percent of their final grade. Philllipppe asks if Paris and Louisa are going to start scratching each other, or if this is just a verbal spar. Paris asks Rory for her opinion. Rory asks Brad how he is at speaking in front of an audience. Brad admits that he usually throws up. Paris tells Philllipppe that he can be Romeo. She doesn't even get to properly threaten him before his pager goes off and he's out the door. Do people still carry pagers? Louisa is happy and declares that Brad is Friar Tuck and she's Juliet. Paris tells Louisa, "Juliet's supposed to be chaste." Louisa knows she can't win that argument, so Fraulein sits forward to accept the role. Paris tells her that Juliet has more than three lines to memorize, so Fraulein sits back again. This leaves Rory for the part. Rory tries to protest, but Paris says that Rory is perfect for the part. She's a good public speaker and waif-like. As Paris goes on about locations for the performance, we fade to commercial.

Independence Inn. Sookie brings Michel a plate of low-fat wheat blueberry pancakes. Michel says he can only have twelve blueberries on his pancakes. Sookie won't tell him how many blueberries are on these pancakes, but she's curious to find out what would happen to him if there were more than twelve blueberries. "Would you die?" she asks. She tells Michel he can have the pancakes if he swears not to count the blueberries. She asks him to raise his hand and repeat, "May Destiny's Child break up if I count these blueberries." Michel pauses and orders, "Pick another group." Sookie won't, and Michel pouts out of the room without his pancakes. "I hate you!" he shouts. Lorelai walks in holding the ice-cream maker. She says she's donating it to the inn. Sookie says that Lorelai's donation is very thoughtful, but that they already have an ice-cream maker, one that makes enough ice cream for the entire inn, where Lorelai's ice-cream maker (named Fernando) only makes enough for Lorelai. Lorelai says it's not fair that Fernando is a part of that life Lorelai doesn't have anymore and won't have and he shouldn't be shunned like there's something wrong with him. Sookie promises to keep her change in Fernando. Then Sookie says she's worried about Lorelai. She points out that Lorelai has named the ice-cream maker. Lorelai says she names everything. Sookie: "You didn't name the toaster." Lorelai: "Poppy." Sookie points out that Lorelai just came up with that name just now. Lorelai admits that she did, but that Poppy is a great name for a toaster. It is. Just ask my last car, Club Protégé, and Clippy the Hair Clip. Well, you can't actually, because Club Pro got sold, and Clippy suffered the fate of Curious Boyfriend Who Can't Leave Things Alone. How come everything I name dies? Sookie says that it's been a while since Lorelai broke up with Max, and she should be dating now. Lorelai says she's not hibernating. You can tell by the slit in her skirt. Sookie tells Lorelai to put the "Available" vibe out there. Lorelai brags that a guy from her business class asked her out the other day. He's cute and funny, a bit younger, but they have a good rapport about her stealing his burrito. Sookie giggles and asks when they're going out. Lorelai says she hasn't said yes yet, because if it doesn't work out, class might be weird. Sookie says this guy can be like a pre-transition guy, and every guy doesn't have to be The Guy. Lorelai says she'll call BCG later tonight. Michel tries to take the pancakes again, and Sookie slaps him away.

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