Gilmore Girls
Run Away, Little Boy

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Philllipppe, CuteDean, Troilus, Cressida

Luke's. Morning? Lorelai tells Rory to eat her burger, so maybe it's not morning, but if it's not the morning, then Rory should be in school, shouldn't she? Or is this some kind of five o'clock dinner? Lorelai says they're going to shop this afternoon to cheer Rory up. She says that today is the day they'll finally spring for the Powerpuff Girl shot glasses. Lorelai would be jealous of my Powerpuff Girl ashtray. That is, if Lorelai or I still smoked. Rory says she promised to help Lane pick out an outfit for the show tomorrow. Okay, so I guess it's Saturday afternoon? Then last night was Friday? Where was dinner?

To distract us from the timeline problems, Lorelai's BCG pokes his gee-golly head in at the back of Luke's. He's wearing a baseball cap over his scruffy hair, and they want us to think that this guy is now about twenty-one. I'm not buying it, mostly because I think Philllipppe is about twenty-one. He's brought his parents with him. BCG is in a South Park t-shirt. He points at Lorelai and tells his parents, "This is the girl I told you about." Lorelai asks what he's doing in Stars Hollow. Check out this stupid response they wrote for him: "Well, you talked so much about the town the other night and especially Luke's place so…my mom's crazy for coffee and I thought I'd bring them up here for breakfast." So, it's breakfast time? Then the burger is…? BCG's mom's all grinning like, "I'm wearing a smock!" Lorelai tells Rory that this is her date from the other night. Paul. We finally get his name. It's Paul. She introduces Paul to Rory. Do you think Paul already knew about Rory? His parents seem so happy to finally meet the teenaged daughter of the woman their twenty-something son is dating. Luke asks if they're ordering. Paul freaks out like Luke is one of the Beatles and announces that this is The Luke. Paul's mom says that they've heard so much about him. "Darn shame about that Rachel," Paul's dad says. What? This is so lame. Does he live with his parents? Did he tell his parents every line from his date? No wonder they want to pass him off to some other maternal woman. They must be sick of his yapping. And why would Lorelai tell Paul about Luke unless she was missing Luke on her date? I'm only mentioning this because in about five minutes Lorelai's going to act like she's never even considered dating Luke. Paul explains that Lorelai told him about people in this town, Luke being one of them. He orders three coffees to go. For breakfast, I guess. Lorelai asks Rory if something is funny. She says she's just a happy person. Paul and the Happy Parents leave to go antiquing. "I've always wanted a little brother," Rory smiles. Lorelai says that he looked way older the other night, and that he's usually scruffy and in a suit. Rory says, "He must have been a very good boy to deserve such a happy day. I bet they let him ride a pony." Lorelai tells Rory to go help Lane. Luke walks back over to the table. Lorelai asks if he has something to say too. He doesn't. She tells him not to hold back on her account. Luke says he wouldn't do that, and then asks the two young boys at the counter to move further down so he feels more comfortable. Lorelai puts her money down and says she's not leaving a tip. Luke says she should have one of those height bars like they have at amusement parks so she knows the cut-off.

Rehearsal at Miss Patty's. Philllipppe takes a sip from the poison vial as he sits over dead Rory. He calls for line on "Thus with a kiss I die." Paris is livid that Philllipppe can't remember his lines. The camera keeps turning as Philllipppe asks if that's the part where he kisses Rory. The camera keeps rotating until we can see CuteDean standing in the doorway, overseeing the shenanigans. Paris says that this is where he kisses Rory and then dies. Philllipppe smiles at CuteDean. Paris asks why he's smiling, and reminds Philllipppe that the performance is tomorrow. Philllipppe says he totally missed that the first forty-seven times she told him that. Then why aren't they in costume? Isn't this their last rehearsal? Paris says she'll replace him with Brad in a second. "Oh, dear God, no!" Brad says. Rory asks if they can just get through this. "Please," Fraulein says. Philllipppe says his line and leans in for the kiss. He stops at the last second, turns to CuteDean, and smiles at him. Then he sits back up without kissing her. Paris asks what his problem is. He says that since this is their last kiss, it reminds him of their first kiss "at the party." Rory sits up and says, "What?" Paris tells her to lie down. Philllipppe tells Rory that she remembers their first kiss. "In Act One at the Capulet's masked party?" He says he was just trying to think of something that would make this kiss as special as that one. Philllipppe says that Rory should cry. Paris says that Rory is dead and can't cry. Philllipppe says the beauty is that nobody would expect her to cry. "I would," CuteDean calls from the doorway. "You know, funny you should say that," Philllipppe says, and Rory asks to take five. Paris tells everyone to take five and cancel all of their plans they had tonight, because they are staying until they get this right. Brad pulls out his cell phone. Louisa brats, "Who could you possibly be calling?" I don't like that Louisa one bit.

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