Gilmore Girls
That's What You Get, Folks, For Makin' Whoopee

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Mommies Dearest

Despite her mother's clear regrets, Rory is still mad and can't stop ranting. I'm glad someone is saying it, so I can't even tell her to shut up. I mean, it's hard to call your mom a skank ho, I'm sure. She says that when Lorelai told her about the breakup, she knew her mom was going through a hard emotional time and need some space: "But what you didn't tell me was that you slept with Dad? Instead you're walking around joking about origami and marshmallow sushi like I'm some idiot five-year-old." Rory is near tears by now. Lorelai quietly tries again to say that she's sorry, but Rory's having none of it. "You know what, Mom?" she says. "If you're heartbroken, you rent An Affair To Remember, you have a good cry, and you drown your sorrows in a pint of ice cream. You get a hideously unflattering breakup haircut. You don't sleep with Dad!" On that note, she stomps out the door, leaving her mom in Crazy Asia, all by herself.

T.J. and Luke arrive at Liz's for dinner. Kissing her belly, T.J. reminds her, "Keep your hands off me, you sex maniac." I guess somehow T.J. has informed Liz of Luke's news, because she hugs him immediately and says how sorry she is. They sit down to have some White Russians (yum), and Luke says he really doesn't want to talk about it, though frankly, if it would keep T.J. from saying the word "hormones" anymore and discussing how horny Liz is, I'd think Luke'd be willing to talk about anything.

Rory arrives at Lane's, letting herself in. "I just had to get out of my house," she calls on her way back to the bedroom. "If I were there for one more second, I think I'd have to karate-chop my mom." She's just getting worked up when she arrives in Lane's room to find her looking sick and wan, sitting on the floor. "Are you okay?" she asks, worried. "Did the doctor say you have a parasite?" "In a manner of speaking," Lane smirks, as much as she can in her condition. "I'm pregnant." Rory: "Shut up." Hee. But, yes, please do, Lane. Because, come on. I am all about the suspension of disbelief, but if Lane had sex a week ago, she would not be finding out today that she is pregnant. The math ain't right, and about this one thing, I can't just let it go. Plus, ARGH. Can't one of the twenty-year-old girls on this network go a few weeks without getting married and/or pregnant? It drives me CRAZY, especially on this show, which is allegedly about girl power. Rory makes her repeat a few times that she really is pregnant, though she is obviously miserable to do it. "I guess the combination of saltwater and seaweed and discount Mexican condoms and terrible, terrible sex," she says, "leads to a baby." Again, if that's all it took, I'd be sitting here typing this recap while my twins, Queso and Cancun Lowe were down for nap time, you know what I'm saying? So, shut up, CW.

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Gilmore Girls

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