Gilmore Girls
The Festival Of Living Art

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | 1 USERS: B
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Monet, Monet

Lane, Brian, and my friend Todd Lowe are setting up their equipment, jazzed to meet the new guitarist. And (my friend) Todd Lowe, forgetting that the name is dead to him, says that this is the first time he's been excited to play since Dave. Sure wish Lane would mention the loss of her boyfriend. Enter Sebastian Bach. Lane wonders if he's lost. "I'm Gil!" he shouts, happy as a clam to be right where he's supposed to be. And as far as I'm concerned, Sebastian Bach is supposed to be Lane's new best friend. This is the man who lost his job at Jesus Christ Superstar supposedly because he wouldn't stop flashing the horns and stage-diving during the curtain call. Also, in the year 1989, I do believe my mom told me that the pretty boy on MTV would never be taken seriously until he cut off all of his long hair that made him look like a pretty boy. And since it rarely happens, I do love it when my mom is proven wrong. That scraggly-ass hair is exactly the same hair Sebastian tossed back with his hand while singing "18 and Life" and it's the same hair that's flipping around Lorelai's garage, when he hooks up his guitar and begins his audition, launching into a Jesus and Mary Chain song. I'm getting ahead of myself. So Sebastian Bach introduces himself and the others introduce themselves back. Brian, Lane, and (my friend) Todd Lowe all look nervous that this guy's arthritis might keep him from a wicked solo.

While preparing for the festival, Lorelai asks Kirk how his research is going. Kirk admits that he didn't realize Jesus wasn't in the Old Testament, so it got off to a slow start. Lorelai tells Taylor that the Renior costume still fits her like a glove. Taylor threatens to harm her if she makes him look foolish in front of Hank from Woodbury. He actually says there will be "hell to pay," and then has to apologize to Kirk. Enter the Troubadour. Yes, everybody's favorite useless townie. He's here for a fitting, which keeps him from walking around singing, which makes him somewhat more likable. He's the Judas to Kirk's Jesus, and so Kirk immediately hates him. The Troubadour doesn't pick up Kirk's hostility, and asks if everybody's going to Shakey's later. Kirk says they aren't, so the Troubadour says they'll do it some other time. "Yeah. Some other time," Kirk fronts.

Now Sebastian Bach is playing Jesus and Mary Chain. (My friend) Todd Lowe looks really sweaty in that room. You guys know that I can't truly recap my friend, right? It's not like I'm ever going to snark on him. I mean, I take my job seriously, but I don't want to be an asshole. So know that (my friend) Todd Lowe is there and if he were anybody else I might make a few snide comments here and there about how it's weird how often they make him say "dude" and I probably only notice it because of the way he says it and how he sounds "in real life" and blah blah blah diplomacycakes. The closed captioning, however, doesn't care if Todd's my friend, and describes his singing as "[indistinctly]." That might be because Todd's doing the Pixies cover of the Jesus and Mary Chain song. Sebastian Bach tells them that they're fantastic. Lane is clearly pleased with SB's playing, but mfTL and Brian are still hesitant. "It's tight, you know? It feels right," SB says.

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