Gilmore Girls
The Prodigal Daughter Returns

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | 1 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Luke's My Daddy

Since Lorelai is the last person in the world with an actual answering machine instead of voicemail, we hear the machine pick up and Christopher's voice saying he hopes she's well, and that he needs to talk to her about something big. She looks kind of pained, standing there listening to him, and when Luke walks in, she knee-jerks, quickly moving to cut off the machine. This makes her look guilty when she really isn't, and Luke gets pissed. Sookie makes a quick exit as Luke starts accusing Lorelai of hiding something from him. She assures him that there's nothing going on, and he gives a terse "fine" and starts to walk out. She asks why he's leaving, and he says he doesn't want to talk about it now, with people in the house, because it's rude. "Last time we were over, Sookie breastfed Martha during appetizers," she says. "We owe them." Plus, she says, it's rude to sulk through dinner and pretend they're not fighting. "We're not fighting...yet," Luke responds, all ominous and with, I'm sorry, sort of an abuser vibe.

And dinner is just as Lorelai predicted: awkward. The only one who doesn't feel it is Jackson, who is telling a nasty story about standing in a pile of manure, ordering fish heads from some guy named Tomato George. Hilarious. The silence becomes more and more deafening, so he just keeps going on and on, mugging a crazy accent for Tomato George, who apparently talks like a gangster because he is from Kansas. Luke is being all ass-y, and Sookie vainly tries to save the moment by nervously announcing that "people from Kansas talk funny." Jackson is finally catching on, and asks if he missed something. "Always, honey," Sookie tells him, but he just goes on. He thinks Luke's sulking because the burgers with Jackson's "world-famous rub" are better than Luke's. Everybody's uncomfortable, and Luke makes it worse, saying that he has no problem admitting that Jackson's burgers are better, because he has no trouble telling someone something no matter how difficult it might be to say it. Lorelai sighs, "They'll be debating the subtle complexities of that comment for years." She and Luke then get into an argument about how rude the other is, which spirals into a fight about Christopher's phone call. Sookie and Jackson sit there like little kids with asshole parents, as Luke accuses Lorelai of lying about Chris. It escalates into Lorelai finally blurting that she hates the bedroom suite. "Well, thank you very much for your honesty about my grandmother's furniture," Luke says. "Too bad you're not a little bit more forthcoming about the other men in your life." Lorelai snaps. "Oh my God," she says. "Enjoy Wisteria Lane, you major drama queen." Love it. Men ruin everything! Lauren Graham really laid it on thick, too, which was awesome. As Luke stomps out, huge-baby-style, she tells him to wrap himself in a towel and trip over a hedge on the way out. Lorelai goes to feed Paul Anka a burger, and Jackson worries. "Was it because I brought up my meat rub?" he asks about the fight. "Yes," Sookie says. "It was."

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Gilmore Girls

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