Gilmore Girls
The Real Paul Anka

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Please Stand Up

Back in Stars Hollow, Lorelai continues her mission to run down her town. "Augh!" she yells. "That garbage smell!" Her parents both say they don't smell garbage, but she says that the wind shifted right after she said it. "Allowing a landfill within a mile of city limits," she says. "It's crazy!" Richard is alarmed anew, but Lorelai shrugs again, asking where they parked. He tells her over on Peach Street. "Oh," she says, "over on Carjack Lane?" Heee! She assures their anxious faces that that's better than Chop Shop Alley. Richard suggests that she talk to the Stars Hollow mayor about all of these issues. Lorelai visibly blanches. "You mean Gropey McGee?" she says, with a note of disgust. "I cannot, will not, ever put myself in that position again."

Now Lorelai leads her parents into Doose's, commenting that, yes, it's cute, but it's unclean and never has the basics she needs. Emily asks what she's looking for. "Everything!" Lorelai says. "They have nothing." She busts on all the unknown brands, particularly Aunt Molly's Ice Cream. "You'll notice there's no picture of Aunt Molly on the carton," she says. "I Googled her and got a mug shot, and all I could think was 'I hope she hasn't been selling that stuff to kids.'" Taylor hears Lorelai slamming the place and comes running over. It occurs to me that if she really wanted to sour her parents on Stars Hollow, she should have introduced them to Taylor from the get-go. His whining would drive off even the hungriest, most determined vampire. He comes over and harasses Lorelai for disparaging his store, which is against the law, and saying that, as mayor, he has the authority to write her up. Emily sees her chance to make a fast getaway and says that she's just going to get something out of the car. "Mom!" Lorelai insists. "You don't know the safe streets; you walk down the wrong one, you die!" Well, either that or she gets involved in some crazy townie hijinks, like a...popsicle pageant or a dance recital or whatever they're always doing in the gazebo.

Back in Philadelphia, a spoken word performance is going on in Jess's store, Truncheon Books. I don't know if it's any good or not, because no matter how sophisticated I think I am, spoken word always, always makes me laugh. Luke is also wondering whether it's good, and leans over to ask April. She gives him the international symbol for "so so," which cracks me up. Jess comes downstairs with Matthew, and, lo and behold, runs right into Rory. "Well," he says, attempting to play it cool. "Isn't this a day of surprises." Rory looks around, impressed. "I like it," she says. "It makes me feel like I instantly want to create something. Give me a pen; give me a brush." I know Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia are dating in real what is it about them that, when they are together, they both lose whatever acting skills they have and become doubly awkward? Speaking of awkward, Rory sees Luke across the room, and she and Jess go over to say hi. April, who has thoroughly investigated the store now, tells Jess that his books are really easy to skim. "Thanks," Jess says. "That'll make a nice blurb." Luke asks what Rory's doing there. "Same thing you're doing here," she says. Jess excuses himself to go and grab something for Luke...

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Gilmore Girls




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