Gilmore Girls
The Real Paul Anka

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Please Stand Up

Philly. In Jess's store, one of his co-workers or co-owners or whatever is arguing that they need their own bar: "We need a public place where the next de Kooning can run into the next Franz Kline, and dis the next Jackson Pollock, while the next Charlie Parker shoots up in a corner." Jess slaps his arm: "Nice family place," he jokes. The guy, whose name is Matthew, continues his rant: "I'm not kidding. We'll call it 'Cedar Bar Redux.'" Jess is against it. "I would kick my own ass," he says, "if we called it that." Jess, Jess. Don't waste time kicking your own ass when so many people have volunteered to do it for you. Their other partner suggests that they call it "Devoid of Original Ideas Poseur Bar." Matthew gets pouty and stomps off, and Jess goes across the room to greet...

...Luke, who has arrived, dressed up, and is looking at a crazy phallic painting that looks like nineteen vibrators dancing in a circle. [Insert your own joke, here.] "What is supposed to be?" Luke asks, and Jess suggests that he look at the title. "I did," Luke says. "It says 'Untitled.'" Jess: "Well, there you go." He gives Luke a tour, telling him about the books they print and the art they hang. "And a few of us live upstairs," he says. "That, you don't want to see. It's a disaster." Luke is impressed, and picks up a copy of Jess's book, saying that he's been trying to buy it, but couldn't find it. "It's not exactly The Da Vinci Code," Jess says. Luke says that he'll definitely get it, today. "By the way," he says, pointing across the room, "that is your cousin." Jess blandly says that his mom told him about the whole April thing. Jess is so blasé about it -- doesn't anyone get surprised anymore about secret kids? What does it take to shock people these days? Good Lord. Luke says that April's a total brainiac. "You confirm paternity?" Jess snarks, and Luke tells him not to be a wise-ass. He calls April over to introduce her, and Jess gives her a lame "hey." April sighs: "Men in this family aren't chatty." When she goes to explore a little more, Jess asks Luke how he's adjusting to this new phenomenon in his life. "Okay, I guess," Luke says, shrugging. "I like her, and she just sort of tolerates me." Which is...weird. Like he's just trying it out, this fatherhood game? "Come on," Jess says, leading him away. "I've got some sculpture over here you're really gonna hate."

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Gilmore Girls




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