Gilmore Girls
Twenty-One Is The Loneliest Number

Episode Report Card
Al Lowe: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Madeleine Albright. In Bed.

Logan is dropping Rory off at The Grandparents'. He can't come in for more macking, since he has to meet his father early the next morning. ["He sure has been 'spending' a lot of 'time' with his 'father' lately. Suspicious!" -- Wing Chun] Rory does yeoman's work trying to convince him to stay, distracting him by talking about the Sri Lankan dinner they just had: "I appreciate you lying to me and answering 'chicken' every time I asked what I was eating." He says that with fifteen courses, he was bound to be right at least once or twice. He wonders if she really thinks this distracting technique is going to work on him. "Well," she says, "I've seen my mom do it before, I thought maybe it was a family trait." Random. Here's a tip: maybe don't mention your mom when you're trying to talk a man into having sex with you. Logan continues to resist going in, though he keeps on kissing her, anyway. (And, hey -- why does he have to grab the back of Rory's head when he goes in for every kiss? Is he afraid she'll run away? We should be so lucky.) Rory and Logan are interrupted when Richard knocks on the window, in that classic "out of the car, long-hair" style, and makes uncomfortable small talk with the young smoochers. They all say goodnight.

We next see Richard joining Emily in the sitting room, where she is looking through a catalogue. He tells her that the noise they apparently heard was not the neighbor's Dalmatian trying to mate with their lion statues, again, but rather Logan and Rory trying to, uh, "say goodnight," as the kids call it. This gives Emily pause. She reminds Richard that Rory is growing up and in fact is about to turn twenty-one. "Oh," he snarks. "Is that what the flotilla of party planners outside our door was about?" Emily says that Logan is a rather experienced young man, and that it could be that Rory is considering "having relations" with him. But Richard scoffs at this: "Have you seen the size of that sports car he drives? There's no room to cross your legs, much less do anything else." I had to rewind several times to assure myself of the tackiness of that statement -- seriously, Grandpa. I had this slow-mo, dream-sequence nightmare for a split-second that Edward Herrmann, on my television, was going to say the actual words that there was no room to cross your legs, much less spread your legs, and my life flashed before my eyes. I realize I am compounding the tack by spelling it out like that, but I really couldn't let it pass. Emily gently has to explain to the man that the car is not necessarily the deflowering spot of choice for today's modern booty callers, and tells him that, in fact, she knows Rory and Logan have been getting cozy on the couch of the pool house lately. These people, who are housing their granddaughter born to their own teenaged-at-the-time child, do not know a sexually active girl when they see one? Somehow? Richard is mortified, and says that steps will immediately have to be taken to ward off the sex. They agree that they will do something about it the next day.

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Gilmore Girls

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