Gilmore Girls
Welcome To The Doll House

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Sookie, Lorelai, and Michel walk across the square to where the new street names are posted, imagining the great name they believe they're about to receive. Sookie wants "something classic," like Abbey Road or Charing Cross Road. Lorelai wants a flower name. Michel...just wants to walk a little faster. Sookie says he's just pouting, which he denies. "Oh, so your Botox has worn off?" Lorelai asks. Michel: "No. And I'm not pouting." He bitches some more, while they try to track themselves down on the map. Clearly, they share my own geographical challenges, and have a problem reading the thing. Suddenly, after looking all over the crazy map, they all at once see their new street name. Much gasping and "OH, NO" takes place. It must be really bad.

It is. Back at the Inn, we find out how bad: the Inn will now be located on Sores & Boils Alley. Lorelai is already on the phone, trying to reach Taylor. While she waits, Sookie and Michel, both shell-shocked, react to the name. "What kind of menu do you serve on Sores & Boils Alley?" Sookie asks. Michel: "Anything with a crust?" Argh. Fifteen minutes in and this show is already beating me in a game of Gross Out, and Logan has yet to even make an appearance! Sookie wonders why the name couldn't be something that didn't ooze or run, such as a wart, or a bunion. "Bunions are okay," she says. "They're sort of onions, mixed with buns! Sort of appetizing, if you don't think too hard." Lorelai says she wants them to both chill out, promising she will fix it, but the whole thing stresses Sookie and Michel out to the point that their bickering escalates into a "you're the silly!" kind of argument, which continues on even while a delivery man comes in and drops off a package for Lorelai. It's an antique clock she didn't order. She's handling the craziness a lot better than is Sookie, to whom it suddenly occurs that "white sauce looks like pus!" Lorelai orders her to the kitchen, and Sookie wanders off, saying that also, "salsa verde looks like infection!" I am suddenly feeling the need to spray Bactine into my brain, somehow.

At the pool house, siiiiiiigh, Logan shows up with a bag from, hold your breath, here. It contains a huge box, which she takes out saying "Wow, you did it! You brought me the head of Alfredo Garcia!" Logan laughs like he has some clue as to what Rory's talking about, and tells her, "Open it, Ace." She does, and pulls out a beautiful pink bag. He asks if she likes it. "Hello?" she jokes. "I'm a girl, it's a purse." Clearly, Rory -- who every week we see wearing the absolute latest fashions -- somehow has not opened a single magazine in two years. Because, as Logan has to explain to her, this is "not just a purse; it's a Birkin Bag." (From what I can tell, it's this particular bag. Click it, internet, and prepare to WET YOUR PANTS OVER THE PRICE.) The name sounds familiar to Rory -- she went to school with a guy named Birkin. "I don't think this is the same Birkin," Logan says. Rory loves the bag, despite not understanding its magnitude, and says her computer cords will fit nicely into it. Logan has to gently explain that this is not that kind of bag. "You know what?" he finally says, "Call my sister, she'll fill you in. It's like a 'thing,' you know?" Rory: "Oh! It's a thing! A beautiful, leather grownup thing." Now, see, if we weren't talking about a bag that costs as much as many people's cars, I would almost find this scene charming. Rory decides to carry her new bag and, since it is so much larger than her old one, just drops her old bag into the new one. Logan is amused, and they leave.

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Gilmore Girls

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