Gilmore Girls
Welcome To The Doll House

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Emily cruises into Richard's home office to chat with him about her recent conversation with Rory. She reports on the prestigious handbag, saying that their worries about Shira Huntzberger's messing with Rory and Logan's relationship were unfounded. Richard seems confused, probably because he had no such worries, and Emily goes on to lightly chastise him for scaring Logan with his "intentions speech." Richard remains confused. "My 'intentions speech'...I'm not following," he says. "Intentions about what?" Emily says that Richard basically asked Logan when he was going to propose to Rory. Richard is genuinely flabbergasted, and says that he asked Logan nothing of the sort. "The boy misunderstood," he says. "I wasn't talking about their future. I was talking about..." He pauses and covers for himself, saying it was "scotch talk." He goes on to say that the idea of Logan and Rory's getting engaged is a ridiculous notion, because they are so young. Emily counters that she and Richard were young when they got married, but Richard says that was different: "We're us, and Rory's Rory. She has things to do." ["I'm a little surprised that Emily the Smith girl doesn't take any visible offense at the implication that she didn't or doesn't have 'things to do.'" -- Wing Chun] He says he was only asking Logan about Rory because she's been so secretive lately, always staying in the pool house. "Aren't you curious?" he asks Emily. "Richard," she assures him, "if you want to find out what's going on in a girl's life, you most certainly don't talk to her boyfriend. Follow me."

Richard and Emily troop over to the pool house to begin Operation Snoopy. Wait, that sounds like I'm talking about the actual Snoopy, and he is not involved in this ordeal. Snoopy is innocent of all charges! Anyway, they sneak in the pool house and start snooping around. Richard is uncomfortable with the whole thing, but Emily tells him she used to do this all the time in Lorelai's room. ["Pretty crappy snooping if it didn't head off the whole teen pregnancy." -- Wing Chun] "Once," she says, "I opened the bottom drawer of her dresser, and it was chock full of Tootsie Rolls. Hundreds and hundreds, practically spilling out. What could a girl possibly want with a drawer full of Tootsie Rolls?" Richard says that perhaps it was under the Tootsie Rolls that was important. That throws her for a loop: "UNDER the Tootsie Rolls! My God! I should have looked under the Tootsie Rolls. Oh, that's going to bother me." Hee. She sends Richard around, making him look behind Rory's books for secrets, while she goes into the bedroom. Moments later, we hear her orgasmically exclaim and realize she has found the Birkin Bag. Richard has finally had enough, and says he's leaving. He doesn't even know what he's been looking for. Emily chastises him for not having a snooping game plan, and has to smell the bag a few more times before she can leave it behind.

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Gilmore Girls

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