Gilmore Girls
Welcome To The Doll House

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The dinner rush is on at Luke's, and the kids are loving the urn. Lorelai comes in, and he stomps by her, grumbling. "Hey," she says, surprised, "no kiss?" WHAT? Are they messing with me now? They never kiss! Anyway, Luke says he's too mad, anyway, because it's occurred to him that, for one thing, the whole street name change is a huge hassle, because he just realized he has to change all his mail and stuff. "And," he says, "I am in violation of ordinance 22B!" She asks him what that is, and he explains that the kids playing on the urn requires a jungle gym license, and that a fine has already been levied. Lorelai is just glad that Luke's mad at Taylor again. He certainly is: "If I want kids playing on my urn, no one's going to tell me I need a license!" Lorelai says she's thrilled he's ditched his Zen attitude: "Because, tonight at the town meeting, I'm taking it to the people, and the people are taking it to Taylor." Luke says that's good. "I've got a speech all planned," she says, "listing the years of Taylor wrongs -- the abuses, the manipulations." Luke says the town likes Lorelai, and that they'll follow her. "They do like me," she agrees. "I'm gonna use that." Luke says he'd go with her, but that he'd just end up throwing a bench at Taylor. No need, Lorelai says, because she's got it covered. Luke asks if she wants some coffee, but she says she's beyond it. "Beyond coffee," he responds, amazed. "This is big." Fueled by her righteous indignation, Lorelai offers her cheek for a kiss, and leaves to take on the enemy.

We see the result as Lorelai comes triumphantly into the kitchen of the Dragonfly. Sookie and Michel are excited to hear the whole story about how she prepared for the meeting by stopping at Luke's and feeding on his rage about the urn ordinance. The urndinance, if you will. She explains how she went to the town meeting, and how she stood up on a bench, "totally Norma Rae," writing "STRIKE" on her town meeting flyer, and trying to make a stand for justice. "Of course," she says, "the Norma Rae reference was only in my head, and everyone was very confused." Michel says that, yes, that happens a lot with her. Lorelai goes on: she marched up the front and announced that the Dragonfly was not on the map; that that was totally wrong; and that Taylor must be stopped. "Amen," Sookie says. "Kiss the ground, the South will rise again!" (Aw, man. I was just saying that to AB Chao the other day.) Michel stops all the celebrating, asking what happened next. Lorelai says she told Taylor that if he didn't put the Dragonfly back on the map, it will be just like Molly Ringwald giving her underwear to Anthony Michael Hall, and him showing it to a roomful of boys who have all paid a dollar to see it. Right along with me, Michel responds, "OH, come ON." But no, Lorelai says. "That one, he got." The story goes impossibly on. Apparently, after all this, Taylor said that if Lorelai donated $100 to the Stars Hollow historical society, he'd let the Dragonfly back on the map, and let them keep Third Street. Sookie and Michel are elated! Everyone agrees that a hundred bucks is a small price to pay for sanity in this crazy, crazy town. But their relief is short lived, because there's more to the story: "And then...[Taylor] said 'good girl' and patted me on the head." Sookie and Michel see it coming and fear the worst. "We," Lorelai concludes, "are on Sores & Boils Alley." They cringe and insist that the $100 is nothing, and that Lorelai's pride can surely withstand a little patting for the sake of the Inn. Lorelai says no: Sores & Boils it is, and they will not be extorted. "We are the inn on Sores & Boils Alley," she says. "Historical. Proud." Michel and Sookie say that they'll also be "Oozing. Draining." Lorelai, however, is unmoved. It's stupid, but I can totally identify, being a world-class grudge-holder when it comes to minutiae. Don't get me started.

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Gilmore Girls

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