A Katy Or A Gaga

Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 95 USERS: C
Throat Explosion
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

McKinley High Music Room. The various children futz about with xylophones and scooters and whatnot until Mr. Schue enters from elsewhere with a "secret list" of show choirs the kiddies will be facing this year at Nationals, and I'm just going to just go ahead and ignore that whole "secret list" bullshit because we are literally a mere thirteen seconds into the episode proper, and that is just far too early for my brain to be exploding, thank you very much. Included on said list are "The Rust Belters" from Pittsburgh, "The ThunderShowCats" from Gainesville and "Throat Explosion" from Fort Wayne. Mention of this last group immediately hurls Single-T Tina into the howling pits of despair, and she spends several long seconds shrieking, "NOOOOOOOOOOO! GOD, WHYYYYYYYYYYY?" until New Puck helpfully steps forward to wonder, "'Throat Explosion'? That's a joke, right?" "Anything but!" Dreamboat Blaine pisses from his perch at the piano, going on to exposit -- at length, of course, and in the rapid-fire style that makes these opening information dumps so difficult to transcribe -- as follows: "They're the new supergroup the show choir underground's been buzzing about! Their budgets for costume, makeup -- hair alone -- are astronomical!" And in this they would differ from McKinley, exactly?

Dreamboat Blaine doesn't answer me, because Dreamboat Blaine never answers me. Instead he lectures his fellows like so: "You guys read that Malcolm Gladwell book, Outliers, right? So, Gladwell says you can't possibly master anything unless you've spent ten thousand hours practicing it!" Your point, honey? "Students can't even join Throat Explosion without proving they've logged in ten thousand hours of show choir rehearsal!"

Cut to a montage of shots supposedly illustrating the members of Throat Explosion in the middle of a rehearsal or whatever, and long story short, they appear to be little more than a bunch of aggravating, self-aggrandizing assholes in clown makeup and black body stockings. Dreamboat Blaine's breathless description of the group, however, seems far more flattering than mine: "They perform every minute of every day -- they live their art! They know no boundaries, they're constantly pushing the envelope, living and performing on the edge! They're like mini-Lady Gagas!" So...aggravating, self-aggrandizing assholes in clown makeup and black body stockings? Got it.

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