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The Lost Gleekend

Okay, so now it's definitely nighttime, because Will and Beiste are at the honky-tonk. They get wasted, Will rides a mechanical bull, and then they sing George Thorogood's "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer." I mean, it's mostly Will, with one verse going to Coach Beiste. But it's fun enough.

Rachel's basement. Even though it's been at least three or four days since the party, Rachel is just getting around to cleaning up. I bet the smell of booze and vomit has spread throughout the entire house by now. Anyway, Kurt is there to help with the cleaning. He claims it's because he was just in the neighborhood. But the fact that it's ten o'clock at night makes Rachel doubt that. (Which means this must be the same night as the honky-tonk?) Rachel thinks Kurt is really just there to hear how her date with Blaine went. Which means... that my chance to make all of this fit any kind of plausible timeline is out the window. I'm just going to assume it's still 2011 and leave it at that. Rachel thinks the date was lovely. "We went to see Love Story at the revival theater. We even dressed up as the characters." Kurt: "That's not gay at all." Of course, there was no kissing. Rachel thinks that was due to their lips being tired from mouthing all of Ali MacGraw's dialogue, whereas Kurt thinks it's because Blaine wasn't drunk enough. They have a heart-to-heart. Rachel knows Kurt likes Blaine but thinks that Blaine may be conflicted and into her. Kurt responds by telling Rachel that Blaine is just the first in a long, long line of gay guys she'll fall for, only to be cruelly disappointed. He thinks that they can have lots of fun doing vaguely gay things, but that they'll never have chemistry. Which leads Rachel to declare her intention to "take the beer goggles off. I'm going to kiss him sober." Commercials.

Now we see Will and the Beiste returning from their night of drunken shenanigans. She guides him into his apartment. Lest you think some hanky panky is in the works, she reminds him that a cab is waiting outside for her. But they do have a lovely chat about how sometimes drinking is totally fun and there's nothing wrong with that. It's like the exact opposite of a Very Special Episode. Oh, Beiste does get a little preachy by noting that teenagers are basically stupid (a sentiment with which I wholeheartedly agree) and that it's important to make sure they know about the dangers that can come with drinking so they make good decisions when they do drink. But she's drunk, so I'll forgive her for the preachiness. She leaves for her cab, but not before there are some drunken "I love you, man" exchanges between the two of them.

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