Dance with Somebody

Episode Report Card
LTG: C | 2 USERS: C+
Houston, We Have Some Problems
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open on a gaggle of morose teens gathered around a locker, in which they've constructed a shrine to Whitney Houston. This parliament of crows is made up of Mercedes, Kurt, Santana, and Rachel. They have lit candles in their little locker shrine. I guess burning the school down would be one way of putting this show out of its misery. Mercedes is singing an a cappella version of "How Will I Know," and the others join in as they walk down the hall. Will gives them a worried look as they proceed down the corridor. Which either means they're singing out loud or a worried Will is part of their joint fantasy. Or maybe they're just so inured to his omnipresent worrying face that their collective subconscious can't help but picture him there.

The song continues as they walk into the library. Before long, they transition to the auditorium. Good lord, the amazing sparkly gown that Santana is wearing on stage just made me a little bit straight. The others all look lovely too. But seriously, that dress is a killer. The song finishes and we cut to the title card. That song alone would have been a great tribute to Whitney Houston. But instead we've got the rest of this episode to suffer through.

Will is in Emma's office, consulting with her about the fact that the glee kids are still obsessing over Whitney's death a couple of months after she died. After not obsessing over it for the last couple of months. Emma hands will a pamphlet entitled, "Princess Di: Why I Can't Stop Crying?" She tells him the story of her own two-month mourning period after Diana died, which she now understands was caused by the fact that she was really mourning the end of her childhood as she prepared to leave high school. I love the idea that teenage Emma made this pamphlet so she could hand it to people to explain why she was crying. Anyway, they decide that the kids have latched onto Whitney in a similar response to their upcoming graduation.

Choir room. Rachel and Mercedes are arguing over whether The Bodyguard was originally written for Barbra Streisand or Diana Ross. I thought it was written for Divine? No, Will informs us that it was written for Ms. Ross. And then he tells them that the week's theme is Whitney. Duh. Didn't he hear that opening number? Or see all the ads for the episode? They decide that they'll ignore all of Whitney's personal problems and focus on her musical legacy. Will wants them to prepare Whitney Houston songs that express their emotions about the upcoming end of the season. I mean "school." And, for some of them, the upcoming non-renewal of their contracts. Santana basically tells Will to shove his psychobabble where the sun don't shine (which is deep down in his overly gelled hair). Rachel doesn't care about Will's misguided attempt to provide musical therapy, since the theme means she gets to tackle Whitney's 1991 rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner."

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