Dynamic Duets

Episode Report Card
LTG: A- | 2 USERS: A+
Crisis On Earth Glee!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Hail, True Believers! Prepare yourselves for this pulse-pounding tale of high school rivalries and learning disabilities! After tonight, nothing will be the same! Or, rather, it'll likely return to exactly the status quo. Also, according to the "Previously, on Glee" guy, Sectionals are next week. Whatever.

Apparently, the members of the Superhero Sidekicks Appreciation Club have all graduated to being full-fledged superheroes, because Blaine, dressed in black and blue spandex and satin, gavels us into a meeting of the Secret Society of Superheroes Club. Blaine, fan of the form as he is, knows that all superhero meetings start with the roll call, so we're quickly introduced to the assembled members, all suitably costumed: Asian Persuasion (Tina), whose power is manipulation; the Blond Chameleon (Sam), whose power is impersonation; Tarantula Head (guess who?), whose power is flicking his gross hair at you, causing you to flee lest it touch you; Sweet and Spicy (Sugar Motta), whose power is money; and half a dozen other kids whose power is apparently mutism, because they're never allowed to speak. I see no sing of Mike Chang (also known as Unexcused Absence Boy) or Mercedes (Missing Paying Gigs Girl), so they must have returned whence they came.

Blaine then calls forth the candidates for membership. Artie and some others enter the picture, and Artie addresses Blaine by his name. Blaine testily reminds him that in the Society of Superheroes, they never reveal their secret identities. He's not Blaine, he's "Night Bird, the Nocturnal [please say Emitter, please say Emitter] Avenger." He also reminds Artie, in a bald cap and (as usual) in his wheelchair, that members aren't allowed to copy existing superheroes whose copyright owners have expensive lawyers on retainer. So Artie changes his name to Doctor Y, and his power become wheelies. He's joined by Queen Bee (Becky), whose power is being able to sting like a bitch, and the Human Brain (Brit-Brit), whose power is being completely mystifying. A screaming eagle sound lets us know that a text has arrived on Night Bird's night phone, but it's just Asian Persuasion trying to use her powers of manipulation to pushing him into a reconciliation with Kurt. He rebuffs her efforts, and is interrupted when Chai Tea (Tina's freshman assistant) runs and calls them all to the music room.

Cut to the lot of them speeding down the hallway, capes flapping behind them while '60s horns bleat on the soundtrack. In the music room, they find that the Nationals trophy they won last year is missing. In its place, a laptop with the words "Press Play" on the screen. Night Bird ignores the fact that this is an obvious trap and presses play. We see a video of a villain in a Dalton Academy jacket, face pixellated to oblivion and holding the trophy, as his distorted voice promises to take their title, just as he took their trophy.

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