Dynamic Duets

Episode Report Card
LTG: A- | 2 USERS: A+
Crisis On Earth Glee!

Emma Frost's Academy for Evil Mutants. Or, I mean, "Dalton Academy." Blaine Warbler, secret alter ego of Night Bird, makes his way down the grand staircase. At the bottom of the stairs he finds Sebastian, one-time evil leader of the Warblers, and accuses him of the theft. But Sebastian isn't the culprit; he's been replaced as the mastermind behind the Secret Society of Singing Boys by the real villain, who's waiting in the library.

Blaine enters the empty library, where a leather chair swings around to reveal a generically handsome devil stroking a white Persian cat in his lap. His name is Hunter, he's the leader of the Warblers, and he's "not even remotely bi-curious." Keep telling yourself that, Blofeld. He stole the trophy to lure Blaine to Dalton, with the intent of persuading Blaine to leave McKinley and return to his old team. (We learn all of this from Hunter, who is monologuing his entire plan, as villains are wont to do.) He proposes a trade -- Blaine for the trophy. Hunter reminds Blaine that he only went to McKinley to be with Kurt; "In fact, I even hear they call you... Blaine Warbler." To be fair, that's only Brit-Brit. And me, but I don't think Blaine is aware of my existence.

Sebastian enters with some other Warblers, and they present him with the ceremonial blazer. Not the blazer! They dare Blaine to try it on, and invite him to join them for a song. And then they all sing Kelly Clarkon's "Dark Side." A room full of young men, all trying to seduce Blaine. Frederic Wertham would have a field day with this. As the song finishes, Blaine takes off the blazer in shame, but Hunter tells him to keep it. Commercials.

Music room. Finn has taken the Beiste Master's advice and donned tights and a cape. Or, more precisely, baggy shorts and a cape. He tells the kids that he gets that his first idea sucked, and so he's decided to assign them to sing "Dynamic Duets." Doctor Y asks him who he's supposed to be, and he tells them that he's the almighty Treble Clef. Kitty snidely informs him that Jesus is the only almighty superhero. Is she aware of Grilled Cheesus? Tarantula Head gives her an "amen," but she shuts him down. I'm surprised she even let him sit that close to her. Treble Clef's idea is to get the team to unite across its differences, just like the Avengers. He assigns Jake and Ryder to sing one duet, and Kitty and Marley to sing the other. As superheroes. And then he tells the others to "begin preparing to fight an epic battle against the forces of evil at Sectionals." By doing what, exactly? Practicing songs you haven't selected, or learning dance moves you haven't choreographed?

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