Dynamic Duets

Episode Report Card
LTG: A- | 2 USERS: A+
Crisis On Earth Glee!

Hallway. Marley approaches Kitty and tells her she can't sing a duet with her. Kitty: "Is it because my singing voice is crystal clear and you sort of sound like you have a snot bubble stuck in the back of your throat? I don't think that, that's just what everyone's saying." But Marley's real concern is the costume -- she doesn't want to wear a tight superhero outfit, because Kitty's secret machinations have convinced her that she's fat. Kitty asks her if she's still barfing up her food. She is. Kitty claims that they're a lot alike, which is why Kitty was so mean to her originally. Kitty is suspiciously supportive as she encourages Marley to try on the costume, promising to let her know if she looks bad. Their little chat ends with poor, naive, stupid Marley accepting a hug from Kitty.

Comic-cut over to the boys' locker room, where Sam is wearing a jock strap on his face and doing a very good Bane impression. Did I say Sam? I meant shirtless Sam. Thanks, Show! Ryder and Jake are both there, and Jake hands Ryder a note on which he's written his deepest secret. Ryder mocks him for taking the coward's way to admit his secret, and presses him to man up and tell him his secret face-to-face. So Jake tells him that as a half black, half white, half Jewish kid (who's not so hot at fractions), he never feels like he fits in anywhere. We cut sideways to white kids being racist toward him, and black kids being both racist and anti-Semitic. Jake asks Ryder what his kryptonite is, and Ryder tells him he doesn't want to share. Which naturally pisses Jake off, since he just opened up to his arch-nemesis. So Ryder tells him that he made Jake tell him what the note said because he couldn't read the note. GASP! (And you can't spell 'gasp' without 'PSA').

The Novak. Kitty emerges from a stall dressed in a skin-tight black vinyl bodysuit and cat ears. Lee Merriwether, Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt, Michelle Pfeiffer and Anne Hathaway are turning over in their graves right now. (Don't you DARE mention Halley Berry to me!) Femme Fatale orders Marley out of the stall to show off her costume. Marley emerges in a gold body suit with a bunch of flowers sewn over the bosom, her arms crossed across her stomach. After Femme Fatale makes her put her arms down, we see that her belt is inscribed with a "WF." Which, she tells us, stands for Wall Flower. Because that's how she feels about herself. Femme Fatale makes her look in the mirror and stand up straight, and tells her that she is H-O-T-T hot, with "a bitchin' bod." She also insults Marley's mother and her abilities as a seamstress, but Marley seems to overlook it. I'm guessing that Kitty's new plot is to build Marley up so that she can tear her back down again? Femme Fatale also tells her to abandon the moniker "Wall Flower," rechristening her "Woman Fierce." And then they launch into Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero."

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