Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 71 USERS: B-
Return to Sender
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Hallowed Halls of Dear McKinley High. The Batshit Bimbo of Broadway and Mercedes Jones, having heard of The Glee Club's destruction in the wake of last week's positively disastrous performance at Nationals, wander their separate ways towards the music room, where they will presumably join others in mourning the club's untimely demise. You'd think, then, that these ladies would be suitably downcast and contemplative, and you would be oh so very wrong. Thanks to a pair of dueling voiceovers, we learn that both Mercedes and Rachel expected some sort of official celebratory red-carpet, confetti-bedecked reception from the administration, given the fact that they are "the biggest recording artist" and "biggest Broadway star," respectively, that "this school's ever produced," which makes me think they're both mouth-breathing morons, because what intelligent person would ever expect such treatment from a place run by Sue Sylvester?

Whatever. The ladies eventually reach the choir room, where they are fawned over by various of The New New Directions, which leads to a sudden spurt of voiceover bitchery. "She wrote a couple of songs," Voiceover Rachel snorts, while Actual Rachel sneers. "Big whoop!" "So what?" Voiceover Mercedes counters while Actual Mercedes shoots a withering side-eye in Actual Rachel's direction. "She got cast in a play as an annoying Jewish girl -- what a surprise!" The two decide that the only way each can assert her supposed "God-given superiority" is "to sit front and center in The Rachel Chair" (said chair now most conveniently glowing in the heavenly light of an overhead spot that, hilariously, only Urethra Franklin is able to see) and, after an ungainly dash across the linoleum by both of them, The Batshit Bimbo of Broadway triumphs and settles herself down regally while Mercedes scowls. "Greet each other!" St. Gay of Lima hisses at them from one of the cheap seats on the higher risers, and more catty remarks are exchanged until...

...the ever-useless Mr. Schue steps up to the whiteboard from somewhere else to scrawl "100" in gigantic numbers while stating, "One hundred lessons!" And as that makes absolutely no sense, at all, no matter how many different ways I try to think about it, I'll ignore Mr. Schue's pathetic ass for the moment in favor of throwing focus onto my very dear Old Puck, who's wearing his service dress uniform just to remind us all that he joined the Air Force since last we saw him. "Can I get Finn's plaque when we clear this place out?" Old Puck asks, because of course he does. "No," Mr. Schue replies, "because I'll be needing to wrap it up in that jacket I stole and cuddle with it on those lonely nights when I'm feeling especially vulnerable." Or maybe Mr. Schue claims that "Lillian and Finn belong here at McKinley" before finally establishing this evening's musical theme: "Your assignment is to sing one of the songs we sang in here, but reinvented in some way." Here, we get a wide shot of the room, and I should note that -- in addition to Mercedes, Rachel, Kurt, and Old Puck -- Santana, Brittany, Gaylord Wiener, and Old Quinn have also taken time off from their busy, busy lives to travel several hundred miles back to their old high school to mourn the passing of an extracurricular activity they used to attend a couple of years ago. Dianna Agron looks gorgeous, by the way, and her posture is to die.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP